scales....

Today all my children, except Daniel are in school. It's been a quiet morning. It's been a productive morning. I don't mean to imply I am never productive, I just think it depends on what "productive" is to you. If all my children are home it usually implies snacks, dinner, clean up (at very least monitoring clean-up), referring, settling disputes, running here and there for appointments and practices.... all that "why I'm a mom stuff". Today though? I washed clothes, ironed clothes, made stacks of clean nice clothes (hidden away in the laundry room in neat cubbies) for my children who will tomorrow lament that they have NOTHING to wear. I have washed 7 pairs of shoes that no one in my house can wear, but I intend to share. I have put together clothes for a couple of people I pass to. I drank my coke and talking for an hour to my little brother on the phone. I did fix Daniel's breakfast and snack, got him ready to go eat lunch with Dustin and Harvie and went to buy him new school shoes too. All these things came after getting 11 children out the door to school. But, the peaceful quiet of my home, the humming of the dryer, the rumble of the dishwashers, the radio Tasha and Bella so obviously left on this morning...all peacefully nice sounds. I have less than 2 hours before that level of peace changes. The tune of my house in full swing is music all by itself...lol...but only if you like rock:)

On days like today I can breathe in and out without interruption. I can think a whole thought or loose that whole thought all by myself. I do love having my children home, truly. But, I am a huge believer in moderation...and days like today throw that scale back into balance:)

Hope you all have a great week!

Happy Birthday Celebration for Joseph:)

We had a wonderful Lord's day today. It was the 5th Sunday so we had a fellowship meal after church and an early service at 1pm. It put us home for the evening so we grilled and celebrated Joe's 20th birthday. A great meal by dad and a wonderful blizzard cake by Dairy Queen. A nice evening with those I love:)

Happy Birthday Joseph:)

Today Joseph is 20! A pretty big day. Scott is traveling and actually in Memphis with Carlton today so we are celebrating with Joseph tomorrow at lunch. Happy Happy day until we can celebrate tomorrow:)

Loyal Hearts

I took Ryan and Seth to football camp this morning. As I stood listening to the coaches behind me I was struck by the conversation. It was actually one Scott and I had a few weeks ago as someone tried to recruit my boys for a football program in a neighboring town. At the time it just rubbed me wrong. I love our community. I love Friday night football and the spirit of ownership our county has for sports. It just seemed unloyal to go to another county (actually a rival one at that) and participate because you just thought they had a "better" program.

Let me back up and repeat what many of you know about us. We will not likely ever have a pro athlete in any sport because the time dedicated to those pursuits are NOT the beginning and end of our existence. God, He is worthy of that level of dedication. God is worthy of a lifelong work and desire to succeed. No sport compares.

With that priority in mind I am ready to talk about what IS important to me. It is ever so important that I raise children with loyal hearts. A loyalty well placed. A loyalty they understand. Those loyalties are learned early in life. They are associated with family, friends and especially sports. Sportsmanship is Christian. I believe it is. When my children play with a team I expect them to learn understanding, compassion, dedication, encouragement, loyalty with an ever abiding faith that no matter the outcome YOU make a difference! Sportsmanship.

In life I don't want to raise jumpers. I don't want to raise quitters. I don't want to raise children who are always looking to another "place" where they think thier joy and happiness will reside. Those attributes are detrimental to LIFE and especially the Christian Life. If the ship is sinking I want my children to be strong paddlers, strong arms scooping water, I want loyal hearts. There will be so many times in my life and the life of my children that they will be caught on sinking ships. I do not want them to drown, but I do want Macgyver attitudes. I want the strength of character that say, "I can make a difference". Unfailing faith, that's what I want for my children.

I know that doesn't seem like our kids should get all that from sports, from a game. But I totally believe they GET all that and MORE from games. The game of life is not so much unlike football. I am not concerned nearly as much about the equipment as I am the heart. I am not saying I will send them out un-equipped, but to me it's the difference between a beautiful leather bound Bible and a paperback version, BOTH do the same thing. Prestige is not what I am in search of for my children. If we raise our children to have loyal loving hearts they will always be winners and in the end they will have the ultimate goal.

Games?

Caleb sent me this picture this morning. I wish I could just load the actual scanned picture but it's not compatible with my blog. So I took a picture of the picture, not at all great quality on my part! But I had to share...Caleb said it was a picture about the dangers of young children playing adult games. I have to also say that Caleb was not pleased with this picture. He is working with substandard equipment (meaning pens, ink and colors). I just had to share a bit of my Caleb's awesome talent!

Never making the blog...

I have people (usually children and family) who read my blog often. I like that Caleb can read a few minutes and have an "update" or that my time talking to family is not filled up with "filling in". That said, about 80% of what happens at the Smotherman house never ever makes it to the blog. Issues are dealt with, situations handled, conflicts solved and consequences doled without ever a peep seeping here. For privacy reasons, for second chance reasons, for self preservation and sometimes just because I am too upset to talk about it.

I fill these computer pages with our life, parts my children chronicle and enjoy reading, as a calender of our life....but the yucky I usually leave behind.

I am more forthright with my Sam, Zack and Carlton writings. For a reason. My children. It is hard enough to process the losses as an adult, and I write here so that my children can have my words to see and hopefully someday understand. It is with GREAT sadness we live through the losses, it is with GREAT hope we pray about the tomorrows....and it is with that loss, hope and reality in mind that I blog.

I spent an hour this morning on the phone with Sam and his new counselor. This is our third counselor in 5 months. To those who have experience with therapist you can so understand the task of "re-telling". All the past history seems to wash away and we start over. It sounds like it might be a good thing...but not so much with Sam. Today Sam was perfectly angelic, well aside from scratching till he bled. Sam described our home and the perfection of it. He talked about how happy his family makes him. It was the most incredible conversation I have had in a while. Now, some may think Sam has had a change of heart, an attitude adjustment? No such luck, yesterday I got a call from nursing about a hold following a fist fight with a peer and this morning before I meeting he was in trouble for throwing rocks and not following the prompt of staff. I think he is ready to break out, run free and he is "helping" me by painting me and our home as the greatest hoorah. In our conversation the counselor "explained to me" that Sam is very mistreated, undeservedly so. Hum. I told her that sometimes Sam could be antagonist. She denied saying others just don't know when Sam is teasing. Double Hum. Sam piped up and said, "Actually I do antagonize others sometimes." The counselor said, "Well, I suppose I stand corrected by Sam." The counselor is wanted to focus on incorporating Sam home. It is a hard hard thing. Scott and I very much understand the strengths and weaknesses involved. It is hard to be hopeful when we have seen no change. It is hard to forget about the losses. And reality is not all that positive. It's so hard! In the midst of the whole conversation I did smile alot, rarely do I spend time puling my "angelic family" back to earth to show others we're just normal....usually I am trying to drag us up to standard! Today was a unique day.

First day of School phase 3...and last:)

He may be last this week and least in the family but he could care less...he FINALLY started to school today! Seth was so excited. I love that my kids enjoy school:)
This last picture is what I called the "Santa Claus" picture...all THE list stuff packed inside. I bet that bag weighed 20 pounds! Yes, I carried into school:)

THE list.

3 ring binder
loose leaf paper
graph paper
2 pkgs dividers
composition notebooks
folders
3 pronged folders
plastic pronged folders
assignment book
scissors
pencils and erasers
red pen
black pen
highlighters
4 pkg Expo dry erase markers
colored pencils
calculator TI 30X 11S
ruler
colors
classic markers
pencil bag with three rings for binder
craft box
glue
glue sticks
bottle of glue
lined index cards
germx
Clorox wipes
tissue
quart size ziplock bags


Extra optional list if you would like to:
band aids
construction paper
paper towels
extra glue sticks
ziplocks
germx
clorox wipes
the kitchen sink


THIS is a combined list of the things I have bought. In most cases I have bought a BUNCH of each. One child needed 7 compositions books, just one child. I have spent at least 4.9 bazillion dollars. Those dollars not including shoes or book bags. We don't do much back to school shopping (in the clothes category), good grief I am usually broke by that point.

I really KNOW school did not demand all these things when I was a child. I actually think we just "took stuff" and whatever happened to get there was good:)

I wondered today just how many people actually bought all this stuff? I do and I would like to whine ....and I rarely whine:)

I know it's not the teachers fault(although some lists are much "hugher" than others), but I sure wish when our school system was spending their money they would budget in school supplies!!


Oh Yeah....this is ONLY the middle school and elementary school list...high school coming soon!

He is always with us....

In the middle of a month like we have had I have been in prayer. I have been so thankful for the blessings and equally thankful for the healings. I do know, and I feel bad about it (well, actually intend to rectify the situation), but I have not spent as much time telling my children, sharing with my children, instilling in my children the AWESOMENESS of our Lord. I've had them at church, we've been in class, but personally I have been running in about a million directions (physically and mentally). As I was looking for my car keys on our dresser I looked down to see a sweet picture Seth drew in church Sunday morning. It reminded me, while I am important to my children and while I do play an important part of their faith, my children "get it" all by themselves. They have their own mental images, their own love and their own understanding of God's power. I love that!!

In and out..

Daniel's day was not so "quick". A first surgery by our Dr that was to last an hour ended up lasting FIVE hours. I am ever so grateful Daniel was the second case. They took him back at 1:43 and he was all done by 2:30 and home by 5...in and out:)

First Day of School phase 2

Today my freshman girls, Rosie and Mercedez, went to school. They were ready to go more than an hour early:) I optimistically would like to think that will last a long time..haha!


Today the freshman class are all wearing their "Team Aaron" shirts in support of their classmate Aaron Bell. Aaron is battling cancer and will be having brain surgery next week. He will get to be at school for the first few days and friends decided to all wear red or their shirts today. Mercedez has her first football game tonight so she and the cheerleaders had to wear thier Tiger shirts but are wearing red ribbons. I loved this picture of Mercedez giving John a red ribbon.

John, as student council president, will be speaking to the freshman class this morning. In John's words, "I've heard this freshman class is awesome!". I would agree:) I also think the Senior class is pretty awesome too!!

Also making his debut at Middle School is Ryan! He too was up early...I really like this trend. Ryan is entering 6th grade and is really excited. Daniel will be joining him next week (we hope!).

FIFTEEN!!?? Seriously?

I can hardly believe Mercedez is FIFTEEN!! Where oh where has the time gone? Mercedez has so many wonderful attributes, so many beautiful behaviors and we are so glad to see them all in use as she begins her first year of High School:) Fifteen today and tomorrow her first day of High School and her first football game to cheer!! I see lots of firsts in this year:) Starting with today, Happy 15th Birthday Mercedez:)

Dan's surgery...

Dan is having such a hard time with crutches (falling way too many times), so we got a walker. It can't fall down and it helps tremendously. Sarah and Scott keep saying kids are going to make fun of him, but he will just have to use it until he gets a hard cast on(thus protecting his foot!). In a "case and point" moment this morning Tori said, "Daniel, you look like a grandma who just won BINGO!" I got several "see!?" looks. The balloon is attached to his walker, a sweet gift from Seth after the dentist yesterday:)

Daniel has surgery this morning on his foot. We are hoping to be home this evening. I am reminded of the other time Dan had a cast, about 4 years ago although it was his arm not his foot.....


Times change and yet some things stay the same....same child, same Doctor, same "gotta deal with it for a couple of months" attitude! Oh yeah, same silly brother:)

First day of School wave one.....

Wednesday, Thursday and Friday find different children going to school...so this morning I have "First Day of School Pictures" day one:)

This morning was my two 12th graders: John and Jacob



Also my 7th and 8th graders: Tasha, Michael, Isabella and Mary Lita







And my 5th grader Victoria:)

Open House:)

We had Open House tonight at Victoria and Seth's Elementary School. Sarah went with us and we had fun meeting "new" teachers. Actually meeting and greeting our new teachers who have both had in excess of three Smotherman siblings. I am very happy with the choices:) On a very happy note, Seth's sweet teacher from last year, Mrs Wright, is now a Title 1 teacher so she will be in his classroom 30 minutes a day to help out (Seth is tickled to death!).

For the first time in 15 years I only have two elementary school children. How quickly time flies. Five years ago this month Chelsea was a Freshman in college and my two youngest were home with mom. I can hardly believe they changes, it seems like this picture was just yesterday!!

TWEENS, Teens and Titans

I am sinking in tweens right now....6 in middle school this year! With those tween years comes so much yuck! Attitudes, behaviors, learning experiences, hormones....ya know the yucky stuff! My prayers seem to lean heavily to the "Lord please let me survive my blessings" phrase. Seriously!

I have seemingly "one" of everything. Tonight I had 4 phone calls in a row from a cell number, the boy refused to tell me who he was. Not sure how calling 4 times in a row was going to change that, but....It was obvious that one of my girls was pranking and they were trying to figure out who. It only took me one guess to know which one was prank calling(the whole world knows it was Bella...no secret). On the second to last time the number called I told the little boy (who refused to name himself), "If you don't tell me who you are then how am I going to be sure you are not called again?" Next call came from his dad. I thanked him for telling me who the phone belonged to, and apologized telling him I would take care of the problem. How embarrassing. I have a boy crazy, senseless girl. I called this daughter to me and laid out the rules of the phone (again!) and then removed all phone privileges...PERIOD!!

I enter "that" phase again and it's so not my favorite!

Tonight I sat at the high school for 46 minutes waiting on Mercedez to get out of cheer practice. Why the long wait? Perhaps because I was told twice the wrong time. As Mercedez back peddled trying to tell me the sponsor had it wrong I reminded her that ALL the other moms only waited 5-10 minutes...meaning I was the only one who thought it was out at 5. Dinner nearly burned and part wasn't even ready yet...frustrating. Although not as frustrating as the attitude that "I" was the one who had the problem. Teenagers! Not very much different from Tweens!

It all comes at the end of a long day. Daniel will be having surgery on Wednesday. He will then be home for two weeks, only returning to school after the Doctor puts on a hard cast. I'm looking at a crazy couple of weeks! haha...Well, crazier than normal.

There is always funny to lighten the crazy. This afternoon my two hopeless and silly youngest boys were arguing. Ryan came to tattle on Seth: "I was trying to call the president and Seth put it on speaker." To which Seth replied: "you can't call the president you don't even know her number!" See...both are hopeless:)

In an exciting event, Bo's parents offered 4 tickets to the Titans game tonight in Nashville and Stuart, Doug and two friends are probably pulling up right now!! How fun:) Thanks John and Renea!!!

Hello Monday...

With Daniel down for the count we spent a quiet weekend working around the house. My kids (not just girls...all of them) have spent hours, yes HOURS making bracelets, rings and necklaces with this.....

Daniel is not so great with crutches (sure hope that improves) but for now he is lucky to have helpers....

Stuart came home bearing an incredible gift! An Xbox with the football game my boys love (Madden 20100. It also had two guitars, and TEN other games:) As if having my oldest son home isn't enough of a treat!!

This morning we are waiting for an appointment to take Dan and his x-rays to the Doctor.... this is a picture of his x-ray. BTW...the heal is suppose to be solid. The line that dissects it from the heal? That should not be there!

Are we willing...?

"Are we willing....?"I had that question asked in a note about my "why are we moved" post. HUGE question! As young "on fire" parents we were so willing to accept challenges, so very much in line with the right attitude of "willingness". We really thought we were invincible, we thought that our desire to serve would carry us through. As time has passed Scott and I have come to serious terms with our strengths and are weaknesses. We know exactly what we can do. The question has popped up more as we have gained that understanding. Are we willing? Yes, we fostered, we adopted, we have had so many issues in plain old parenting and tough old parenting those experiences have all continued to show us what we can do. But as we have grown in that knowledge we have struggled, truly struggled at times under the what we are willing to do. We have turned down sibling groups and children based on the "not willing" more often than the "can't do". Seriously, we can do a while lot, God has shown us just how far his arms open and how great His grace extends. But, still we are human and we know what life is like when we are considering the can do's and will do's. It's part of being human. We sometimes get caught up in 'self'. I am brought back to focus when I read this quote by Theodore M. Hesburgh when he says,

"My basic principle is that you don't make decisions because they are easy; you don't make them because they are cheap; you don't make them because they're popular; you make them because *they're right*."

We have this incredible family because we feel it's right. We "can do" what we need to for them all. No matter if it falls into the good, the bad or the ugly categories. We do it because we are blessed by God with the understand (haha...well, most the time) and the desire to succeed. Our right decision is based on principals and faith and belief that God will never leave us, never forget us, and never ever be unwilling to walk this walk with us! He never has, we know what He is willing to do!

It matters not what you are doing in your life....we all will be faced each and every day with decisions that just trickle down to the same old question, "Are you willing?" Those words impact every single ministry, every single life, every single moment on this earth.

That phrase is one of my personally "hardest". I think that Satan will play on that phrase more than any other in the life of a Christian. I don't say that to say that everyone should adopt homeless children.... I don't even believe that. I DO say that to say that everyone has to be willing and better be about the "right" things with the right attitude! Willing to do all good things:)

"Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share." 1 Timothy 6:18

Loving my church family..

This morning Meredith called to ask if she could run by today and go over the scripture with Seth for their reciting in the morning. Seth was not in class Wednesday night when they reviewed (as we were in Knoxville with Sam). She so patiently and sweetly sat outside going over it all with Seth. There are no words to describe what faithful examples mean! I am so blessed, my children are so blessed to be part of a loving and devoted church family.



Meredith's neat uncle who happens to be an board certified orthopedic surgeon came by to look at Dan's x-rays. He was there when Meredith was explaining Dan's break to her mom. Her uncle asked if we "minded" him looking at them. THIS is what we are looking at with Daniel's foot. Officially at Calcaneus fracture. One Dx...we have a second one the first of the week (well, asap) and we will see. But, I think it's pretty obvious that screws will be needed. Dan's x-rays look so much clearer (aka ...worst) than the one on the link.

Sad for Daniel as school starts in 5 days, a new school at that. I suppose he will eat up the attention, he might as well, there is not going to be an alternative:(

It's a wrap!

It's a wrap and I don't mean a gift...Daniel had our first ever at the pool injury. Well, Chelsea fell out of a kiddie pool and skinned her chin while at her friends about 14 years ago, but that probably doesn't count. Today Scott and I were with the kids and Dan dove off the board. No flipping no silliness, but his heal apparently caught the board as he went in. It's a wrap, a break! For now we will be seeing a specialist next week to find out the extent. Have you ever noticed how things always happen on Fridays? Now we have to wait until the weekend passes to find out more. Oh yeah...and football begins tomorrow. I suppose I should just be glad we made it through the summer, but as it always is, there is no GOOD time for bad news!

Reaping....

I think I might have mentioned before that Caleb is a pretty talented artist? He occasionally designs tattoos for friends. I am so ever ever thankful he has a serious aversion to needles! But, he sure does love the "ink" side. I'm not sure I love the Grim Reaper, especially not sure I like him in a flag. I can see why that might appeal to a young man far from home who fights a war most of us have no clue about!

Robert Louis Stevenson said, "Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant." The war bothers me somewhat. NOT the fighting against terrorist, not fighting for our freedom and safety. But in light of this quote, I think I simply would like to know what seeds are being planted? As is in most cases, we'll probably have to wait years to see that "harvest". I just hope it's a harvest not planted in vain.

Jim Rohn said, "Maturity is the ability to reap without apology and not complain when things don't go well." Interesting. As the mother of a soldier I hope I can always appreciate the ability of our military to keep us safe and I hope to not complain when things don't go my way. I do tell my kids pretty often that it "isn't all about you". Much of life is not about me, but how I react is ALL about me!

My life, my reaping, my sowing I hope is kindness and goodness to others. I hope that the rewards, my harvest, is seen on this earth and certainly in eternity.

To a soldier... reaping is something they consider every single day. To us? We should consider it every single day as well, we are soldiers. Soldiers of Christ. We need to always "put on Christ" just as surely as Caleb's picture depicts the grim reaper putting on the flag. The image should be just as powerful. It's something all should see, should see from far, should acknowledge, appreciate and seek...

You will reap what you sow

Why are you moved?

"What moves you," and if you're interested we'd like to know what moved you and your husband to adopt some of your children?

I was approached with this question and smiled. What moves me is easy and frankly it is the same thing that moved me to adopt ALL my children.

The history?


I am the oldest of nine children. My parents fostered from the time I was in about second grade until I was in High School when they stopped to adopt. So a big family was not anything unusual for me. I always knew that I wanted adoption to be part of my family someday and was blessed to find a wonderful husband who felt the same.

We had “small” vision in our adopting…lol. We had four birth children and then expected to find a sibling group of 4 younger then our birth children and stop. We began through fostering and foster 40 children before we stopped to adopt only. Our children began praying that everyone could stay forever….we agreed. We did adopt one little girl we had in foster care, she was a sweet blessing.

In 1999 we began looking for a sibling group. Three or four mind you! I found a great group in Texas of six. Scott did not fall over and we inquired. They just sounded too good to be true….and they were. Ages 1,2,3,4,7 and 9. Lots of people wanted the four little ones…..but few wanted them all. Scott and I thought they all were wonderful and in July of 2000 they came home. I told everyone I was finished…..eleven was more than enough. Especially when those eleven children were ages 1-12.

The following year my youngest adopted sister who has considerable mental issues got pregnant. She asked Scott and I to take the baby. Seth was born in November of 2001, came home from the hospital with us and was the easiest incorporation !

We no longer said we were through…but we weren’t searching.

We had a worker contact us in 2002 to ask if they could submit our home study on a group they were going to court with. She asked “would we consider 5 sibs?” I told her sure we would “consider” them…..but that is a far stretch for taking them. She used our study and for several months we kept making “cuts”. We prayed that the right family be chosen for these children! And another family was chosen. Three months later the worker called and asked if you would read the profiles and please consider the children.

At this point in our adopting I can tell you that we were no longer immature adopting parents. We never asked for a single picture…..we read the profiles and made our decision. The children all came home in Jan 2003. By far the toughest and sweetest bunch of kids you’ll ever meet. My most challenging boys. And one little girl.

A year later we had a set of 5 year old twins come and stay …..they were from a disruption (or what we felt might be) We adopted them a year later and they will be 13 this fall.

Our 20th and 21st are two wonderful brothers. We were not able to adopt these two “sons of my heart” but had power of attorney. No paper could make them anymore ours. Both are currently students are Freed Hardeman University.


So why are we moved?

We believe that every child deserves a mother and father. It doesn’t always happen, but at very least, every child should have a home, a family, love, support and guidance. We have so many children because we have adopted sibling groups. We have not adopted any children, any sibling groups, without taking them ALL. We believed in “No child Left behind” long before it became a phrase heard in schools.. We feel that children should have the chance to grow up without worrying about a brother or sister who was not blessed, was not given opportunity at life. We really believe it is a huge strength for our children and our family.

There came a point in parenting that we realized our family, our children were “what we do”. We don’t drive to UT to watch Tennessee Football games but we rarely miss a flag football game, junior pro tackle football game or a high school game when our son kicked. We have had cross county runners, basketball players, a volleyball player, soccer players, baseball players and band members. Those games are important, our children are thereJ We are very active in our youth group activities. We know that our children will truly only find peace and joy and life in Christ….it’s important, a must, a gotta have. We do everything as a family and the difference it makes in our lives and the lives of our children we intend to last through eternity.

I could give you many many Biblical examples. They are there. We have an obligation to love others unconditionally. That’s true. But, I see that unconditional love in the life and attitudes of my children…and those examples speak so loudly to me. Our oldest daughter Chelsea was planning her wedding earlier this year when Seth our youngest (8 at the time) asked a question, “Hey Chelsea, what color are your babies gonna be when you and Bo have’em?” I was standing nearby and turned to watch Chelsea say, without missing a beat, “What color do you think they will be?” It didn’t matter that Chelsea and Bo were both caucasion, in Seth’s mind that had nothing to do with family, nothing to do with love. He thought a minute and nodded, smiling as he said,” I think 4 boys, two black, one brown like Ryan and one like me.” (meaning two African Americans, one Hispanic and one Caucasion) Chelsea nodded along with Seth and said, “Maybe, we’ll just have to wait and see?” It is THAT example that moves me… It’s Christ in my children, Christ in my life. Family, it’s a HUGE blessing.


We truly believe that God has no limits. When He says that we can do all things through Him, we believe Him. We have never limited God. I tell my kids all the time that just because “you” cannot do something does not mean it’s impossible. I cannot begin to fathom the tools and understanding a brain surgeon has. I cannot imagine successful brain surgeries! They seem impossible to me. But they are not impossible…they happen everyday! I think my family is much like that. It might be hard understand how we do it, it might be easier for some than others…..but the bottom line? Nothing is impossible with God. We believe that this life will lead us in so many directions, but God? He will increase our work and He will bless us beyond measure if we simply allow Him to!

Leaving on a jet plane...

Wednesday morning we arrived at Nashville International Airport with Caleb. As I watched him get ready that morning it was very very hard...





As we walked through the airport it was very very hard....





All the hugging and goodbyes was hard, period!



Watching the plane after he boarded was very very hard....




But the hardest part, for me, is the memories of the fun while Caleb was home. It's knowing it will be a long time until I have him home again. I cannot bemoan communication, Caleb calls me nearly every week. I get an email or facebook message most days. But it's these things I will miss....

The hugs...

The silly Sarah and Caleb combos....




The guys in and out of the house playing rockband....


And the ability to just reach out and touch this neat son of mine....

"Time is the longest distance between two places" Tennessee Williams