It's right.

Many many years ago I first heard the "it's gonna hurt me more than you" phrase parents tend to use. I never really understood that, especially since it seemed to be used when a spanking was coming. I don't and haven't to my knowledge ever used that with one of my children, yet I do think of it and understand it better now that I am grown.

As a parent we are called to guide our children. We are responsible for their well-being. Included in that well-being is discipline. When my children do something wrong, it is my place to correct the behavior as well as the thought/motivation behind it.

Just this morning I sat in my van waiting on girls. Three girls to be exact: Mercedez, Isabella and Tasha. I was waiting on them because they were hiding out in their rooms, hiding out because if they had come out they would have been reminded to do chores. I know that, I allowed that, but I fully intended to leave those girls and come back home and chat with them (aka...the correction of behavior as well as the thought/motivation part). I asked Lita to take my camera to my bedroom and apparently while inside she yelled at sisters informing them that we were leaving. They straggled out of the house, climbing into the van.

Tasha immediately began fussing at Lita. Apparently Lita did not yell clearly enough and Tasha was mad at her. I listened a very short time (long enough to overcome my amazement at her audacity) before halting that VERY obvious line of thinking errors.

I explained that I had intended to leave them and that the kindness and concern of a sister alone got them to the van. I did not ask Lita to tell them, I did not intend for her to tell them, but she cared enough to call out. And while she might not have called out loudly, she did let them know. I then explained that ALL THREE of them should have thanked Lita for helping them!!

As we pulled up to the middle school my kiddos were jumping out and I asked Tasha to sit down and wait a minute. After Lita was gone I asked, "Did you apologize to Lita and thank her?" Tasha's reply? NO. I am always caught off guard when my kids KNOW what to do and do not do it. So I told her that was fine, she would be working for me this afternoon. That work being above and beyond expected chores. As she is working now (sluggishly and unhappily) I am reminded of the "it's gonna hurt me more than you" line.

Doing the right thing is sometimes yucky! When it involves correction of behavior? It is ALWAYS yucky to me. But I do it. Rarely do I feel like the prophet Nathan when he talked to David about his sin with Bathsheba....David had a "contrite heart"....sorry but I don't have a lot of kids with immediate contrite hearts. Maybe later...but the moment? Shew! Always touchy.

During class last night we discussed how God sent Nathan to David. We talked about the gift of that. That David, and sometimes us, are quick to change our behavior when we realize what we are doing wrong. I sure hope that is so! Last night after class a friend asked if I thought it was our responsibility to go to our brothers or sisters in Christ when they were doing wrong? Then she quickly told me, "well, that is what you said." I was caught a bit off guard. Yes I did say that. Yes I do believe that.

Driving today I thought a lot about it. Yes, the bible tells us we are to go to our sister (or brother) when they are doing wrong. There are guidelines and patterns.
To me? To me dealing with my sister-in-Christ should be handled just like dealing with my children. Not in a condescending way, not unkindly, not in a way that destroys self worth or incurs wrath....in a loving concerned way. I do not belittle my children when correcting. I treat different children differently, because they are different individuals at different times in their lives. I take into account their age and maturity. The same must apply within the church.

Correcting is yucky. Some of my children, like some people you will talk to have the "kill the messenger" mentality. Not that I truly believe death will occur, but the "it's gonna hurt me more than you" might.

Doing the right thing is NOT always easy. But doing the right thing? It's right.