Sam has been my daytime side-kick and Scott's evening side-kick for a month now. We have been in appeals upon appeals for intervention. Those are all still "open appeals", yet the time has come to stop waiting on intervetnion. I would like to think that once I stop expecting it to happen...it will! But, pessimism is prevailing and hope for that help is dwindling. The time has come to switch directions. We actually are required by law to educate Sam. It's a right he has. I am not going to try to teach Sam at home, I cannot. One, I am not qualified to teach him given his limitations. Two, I (and likely Sam) seriously need a break. Sam is finished with his "honeymoon" phase and seriously moving toward anger at his limitations.
Sadly, Scott and I have spent MONTHS trying to advocate for the APPROPRIATE place for Sam. I feel guilt at placing him in school. I do. No doubt. Why? Because it is not the right place for Sam and he will literally fall apart. If he proves me wrong? I will be overjoyed. But I don't see that happening. Scott and I realize just by being home and certainly by entering school(even in the environment we have prepared for...)....we are setting him up for failure because he is NOT capable of thriving or even maintaining in either place.
That said, this week we had a meeting at school to go over his IEP (eligibly and course study). So..... it begins. I cannot express the prayers that have led us here or the prayers that will continue.
I'm sorry...I'll be praying too.
ReplyDeleteI was in the same position as you (sorta, kinda) two years ago. I put my son in our local jr. high (very lg compared to what he was used to) after "trying" to home school him for a year and a half. I absolutely knew it was sink or swim time for him (and, unfortunately, his two bio-sisters), but I was out of options. I was burnt out trying to meet his needs educationally and his behavior worsened exponentially the longer he was home. So, he was enrolled in Jan. after Christmas break and within a few days was receiving in-school suspensions, then out of school suspensions. After countless meetings where I continued to advocate for a better placement for him, he was enrolled in a different school that had a class for emotionally impaired kids (bigger school in the city - sigh). There, they would deal with his negative behaviors in-house and not keep suspending him for them. Better, and I didn't feel as guilty sending him there as I did the regular school (I worry about him hurting someone else's child with his impulsiveness - and he did), but still not the right fit so after a very traumatic year there he's home again because they intended to send him to the HUGE city high school and cut his services (even after repeated examples of how he was getting away with stealing right under their noses in the more secure setting). I hate to admit it, but we've basically given up on his education (he's almost 17 now) and he goes to work with Dad every morning now and sits there coloring, reading, some days attempting worksheets for 6th graders (but usually crying in frustration if we push the academics). It is not the best situation by any stretch of the imagination, but we've yet to find anything geared to helping him in a public or private school setting or better yet, residential treatment arena. We're just trying to get thru the day here, as I'm sure you've discovered. Being together all the time isn't the solution - it's very exhausting for all of us - but when you run out of options, you just try to get thru the day, or hour sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI'm still praying for help for Sam, as I pray every day for interventions with mine.