Samuel

On Wednesday we began CCFT again, this time with a new worker. We see the merit in a new worker, especially since Sam failed the last CCFT. The jury is still out of whether this new worker, a woman, will be successful or not. Given Sam's lack of respect toward women in particular we are unsure. Sam actually liked the previous worker and did desire to please him. So as we begin, yet again, dealing with the same issues (although escalating daily).

On Tuesday the Alternative school called us a little before lunch to come and pick up Sam. She had tried everything she could do to redirect Sam and when his behavior escalated to him arguing with her (and another female teacher) and then Sam kicked over a chair.

Sam's words? "I didn't do anything" Of course not! :(

Sam does not realize, or maybe he does, that being part of our concerns.. Sam's behavior "looks" like this:

I was playing a game with Tori, Lita and Rosie in the kitchen last night when Sam brought his electric keyboard into the kitchen and set it all up to play. I simply said, "you can play that in your bedroom Sam. We're playing a game in here." He argued but did take it to his room. Ten minutes later he returned with his "Bop It" in hand. That "Bop It" was yelling out commands as he stood watching everyone. I, along with Scott, called him aside and questioned him. He immediately began to argue with me. My question had been"what are you doing?" He knew, He argued. Scott stepped in, stopping the arguing and sending Sam and his still talking "Bop It" to his room. Sam could come out, but not with anything that made noise.

Sam is constantly seeking attention. He mocks others, he mimics others and he is does not care if the attention is negative or positive, it's "all good" to Sam!

At the breakfast table this morning Ryan and Tori were eating waffles and joking over the syrup. All of a sudden Tori said, "Sam! Why did you kick me?!" I looked up and repeated the question. Why? As Sam said, "they were playing around and I wanted to join in".

Sam lacks appropriate social skills.

I sent Daniel to get sheets from the linen closet and Sam beat him to the hall and "blocked it off" with his body telling Daniel. "You can't go down this hall" No matter that Sam heard me tell Daniel he could. It's a constant need to antagonize others.

Sam was pouring apple juice into his tumbler...24 ounces of juice! Everyone else was drinking from 8 ounces. He wanted to "get the whole thing" and he did.

Yesterday in the van he asked me the same question 3 times. I answered 3 times. The third time 4 siblings repeated my answer The 4th time he said, "I can't hear you mom.....What??" I said, "Sam, if you can't hear me don't ask me again, wait until we get home." I said it with the same volume as the previous answers and he heard me just fine.

Sam is pretty incredible. Over the weekend he blew up our riding lawn mower. He also tore up the push mower. The riding lawn mower is dead...seriously dead. The push mower was revived. It is always something...

For me personally, it all the "taking" that bothers me so much.

Sam picks up things and hordes them in his room. He has in his room.....4 pairs of fingernail clippers, all the Windex, all the band aids, all the neosporin, my new tube of toothpaste, all the pens (and pencils and markers and highlighters most from my desk), all the batteries, all the movies, all the ________, you name it.

When someone asks for a band aid Sam responds, "I have one you can have" Well, imagine that! Sam would tell you he's "helping". At age 3 or 4 or 5 that kind of "gathering" might be helpful. At nearly 15? Its taking what is not years which is more commonly considered stealing. Yesterday he took Bella's ipod ear plugs, I'm sure he was "just holding them for her", even though he tried to convince Scott and I they were his....kinda hard because he does not have an ipod.

I know all of these seem minor, minor issues that we deal with constantly. But, like sand in my shoes it can be the hardest to live with. I can also talk the "why's" of his behavior and explain it all with reasons ....but none of those reasons give much comfort in the midst of constant arguing and constant poor behaviors (all of which I have NOT mentioned the worst or even the scope of the seriousness).

I cannot sit and blog, I cannot cook dinner, I cannot drive home from school, I cannot sit with any child without knowing that I will have to stop and redirect Sam (which currently equates to a half hour ordeal...at very least). So my blogging it stuttering. Many apologies...I shall try to catch up!!

As I whine I am reminded of a poster I saw a classroom at the Middle School this week:

Just because something is DIFFICULT ....doesn't mean you shouldn't TRY ....it just means you should try HARDER!!