Impending something...

I'm not sure what to name this post. I'm at a loss. Impending Doom or Impending Salvation? At this point I think the situation could go either way. Impending "something" is likely more appropriate. I left home a little after 6 am. Drove to Bowling Green and stopped first at Potters. I exchanged paperwork, talked about options that are still pending, and watched papers being faxed to yet another pending placement. I went to the house and picked up all Sam's things. I talked a while with his sweet and sad foster mom. I told her and I meant it..I understand her frustration. I do. The only difference is she has a choice, and I do not (well, not right now). I left Potters going to the pediatric Psychiatrist office to sign releases. Left there to go to Rivendell Mental Hospital to actually pick up Sam. I listened to the worker tell about meds (they had taken Sam off the one that most helps with mood swings because his blood work came back poor). I listened to triggers and coping skills. I have listened to that same conversation about 200 times. Sam is good at it. Sam knows his triggers, he knows his coping skills, he simply chooses to not use that knowledge when push comes to shove (he shoves). Sam and I signed all the paperwork needed and left.

Scott had been working all day to find placements and did find several good options. He called and gave me directions to Kinko's in BG. Sam and I spent 30 minutes (lol..or more) faxing papers to Scott to fax to rtc's. We left for home, arriving in time to go in Walgreen's and get all his meds. We arrived home a long 12 hours after I left.

Scott took the kids to church and I stayed home with Sam (who did not need to be the center of attention, pressed for questions and such that would make him anxious). We unpacked all his clothes, putting up the winter clothes and sorting through the rest. And then, as Sam sat here watching TV I sat here (at the computer) typing a safety plan.

After reading the Doctors words that stated "Sam does not need to be at home as he is a safety risk, he need to find immediate therapeutic placement". Scott and I are trying! In keeping with the seriousness of the situation I now have a planned safety plan to post.

I am thankful for John and Sarah, they spent the day taking care of my Spring Breakin' kiddos. They got boys to baseball and even had chores done:) I am also so grateful to Scott who took off from work tomorrow to keep Sam so the kids and I could still go to the Zoo. I might have had a revolution on my hands otherwise:)

Life goes on....in spite of the issues.

On the way to Bowling Green this morning I called Caleb. He was my straw today(the one that broke the mom). As I drove in frustration at the situation with Sam, I listened to my Caleb tell me his things were now all in storage and he was leaving for Afghanistan in the next few days. I cried. Good grief who wouldn't? And I didn't even have music playing! I thought about my neat son, my soldier, who is prepared and able minded and just one awesome guy. And the contrast could not be any greater. All day, the stress of Sam and the impending departure of Caleb to war had me teary. I have been very very strong about Caleb and his service. I am very proud of him. I told Scott tonight at dinner that in spite of knowing he is ready I want to sing "Billy don't be a hero" :) Scott and I both smiled, for once grateful that Caleb is not the tallest guy in the crowd:) Making it much easier to "keep his head low". It's always hard to be sad when talking to Caleb. His words to me about Sam were laughing, "Just think of the stories you will be able to tell me mom!" I reminded him that those kinds of things were only funny LONG after they happened and I was not hoping, at all, for material to share with him. He laughed. Knowing, as me, that material is inevitable.

Prayers. Prayers for both my boys is needed. And a prayer for those boys parents would be awfully nice too!

Politcal words for games....

Today I laughed and began writing as John tried to talk me into helping him out (aka...give him money). As I picked up my pen he moaned, "Are you gonna blog this?". I could only laugh at the plea...it sounded suspiciously like Obama talking...

John....."Hey mom can you loan me $22 until tomorrow so I can buy a Stimulus Map Pack?"

me..."a what?"

John...."A stimulus Map Pack for my game." (Doesn't that sound political to you?)

me...."$22??"

John, becoming long suffering...." I need 1200 Microsoft points to buy the maps and I don't have enough, so if you loan me money I can buy points."

me...."where do you buy points?"

John...:"Game Stop" (duh..not sure why I even asked that one).

me...."why would you want to do that? You already have the game"

John....."It opens up new maps and new places to play...everyone else already has them mom."

me laughing...."seriously, everyone?"

John, my math minded smarty....."They do mom, I looked and 66,000 people are playing this very minute!"

me..."I'm not sure that's everyone:)"

I laughed and followed him to Game Stop so he could join the 66,000 people playing. You know I would feel so bad if he were left out! Plus, I fully intend to be reimbursed:)

Lack of Unity?

Today a young Christian woman(a wife and mother) wrote to me about her church. She wrote about the lack of unity. About separations between the older women and the younger woman(the younger women were trying to encourage relationships and were not being successful).

I wanted to tell her it sounded like she didn't have a "church". Church IS unity.
After all, look what we have in common! Paul says we have one
body, one Spirit, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father. I
hope Christians recognize the cohesion that we
have in Christ. There is cohesion, a glue, a unity here that holds us all
together, moving toward a common purpose. And I think we are seeing first
hand how unity in the body of Christ, the church, can move us ahead. The
Bible rightly insists that God’s people have unity.
But we have to listen. An insistence on unity must never be confused for an insistence on uniformity. Unity and uniformity are not the same, and in fact may well
be opposites! A lot of people these days think that unity means uniformity,
but they are wrong. Unity brings together diverse people to use their own
uniqueness in a group to accomplish a common purpose. Uniformity pushes
away those who are different, insisting on lockstep agreement and results.
Unity adds people to the group; uniformity divides people from the group.
Unity results in a multiplication of people, uniformity results in a subtraction
of people. Unity is a vital imperative, but uniformity is a fatal attraction.
An insistence on uniformity does not cause unity. It causes division. We
are seeing the results of an insistence on uniformity in our world today.
Fundamentalism in Islam, Judaism, and even Christianity is insisting that
there be a uniformity of thought and culture in order for us to all get along.
Isn’t that what all this terrorism business is about? Or what about the issue
of race relations? For a long time our country lived with social systems of
uniformity, but we certainly had no racial unity. And heaven knows that for
centuries churches have sought to have uniformity, trying to coerce and
force believers into a mold of their own making thinking that if they could
just make everybody dress right, or act right, or believe the right way then
there would be unity. But no, there was no unity in that model. Only
uniformity.

The Bible says that unity comes when diverse people are bound together by
the gospel of Christ. Unity is diversity with cohesion. Diversity in the
church is no accident. In fact God designed it that way. In verse 11 it says,
he “gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be
evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s
people for works of service.” That word “prepare” translated in KJV as
“equip” is a word used for setting a broken bone or joining ligaments back
together. It is sometimes a political word for bringing diverse parties
together so work can proceed. It is a word of cohesion. So the task of the
apostle, and prophet, and evangelist and pastor/teacher is to bring different
people together for God’s service. And believe me, there are different kinds
of people in God’s kingdom. In I Corinthians Paul talks about how some
have the gift of prophecy, or teaching, or administration, or hospitality, or
giving, or mercy. Not much uniformity there! And over in Galatians the
Bible says that “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male
nor female, for you are all one in Christ.” So for unity in the church we
don’t give up who we are for the sake of uniformity. We join with others
who are different than we are to create a body that is greater than the sum of
its parts. So we come to church and those who are wealthy are bound
together with those who are poor. Democrats and Republicans work side by
side because of the common purpose they have in Jesus. Blacks and browns
and whites and yellows are joined together by Christ, even when the world is
trying to pull them apart. And you may well be sitting next to a person who
has a whole different way of looking at life and God and maybe a different
way of interpreting the Bible, but you are joined together by Jesus. One
person has remarked: Differences are not meant to separate us but to
draw us together. I wish Christian people could get a good dose of what
God is really trying to do through the church. It’s like a jigsaw puzzle where
none of the pieces are the same, and alone they accomplish nothing, but
when they are fit together they make a beautiful picture. God has no desire
for us to break relationships with fellow Christians just because they are
different than we are somehow. God is piecing people together who may be
different colors or shapes or textures until they form a whole entity that is
better than any one of its parts. That’s what unity is all about. It’s about
diverse people being stuck together by God to accomplish God’s work.
Now we can see what a healthy Christian community looks like. A healthy
Christian community, a healthy Christian family, a healthy Church is different kinds of people doing different kinds of things, bound together by the love of Jesus to accomplish the mission of the church. It is diversity with cohesion. It’s that kind of interlocking of different people that keeps us strong. Or as Paul says, “Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here
and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning craftiness of
men in their deceitful scheming.”

Were it not for the common experience we have in Christ Jesus, many of us would
never even know each other. Yet here we are, working together towards a
common purpose, bringing what we have to the table and offering it as a gift
to God’s kingdom. And it is this interlocking of people, this diversity with
cohesion that makes churches mature. Some people are so afraid of
differences. Some run from diversity, afraid to be exposed to anybody or
anything that doesn’t fit into their box. But the Bible says that it is a
cohesive diversity that makes the church healthy and mature. A healthy church succeeds in accomplishing God’s will. There are some real and practical implications to that vision. Some of those implications may be difficult for us. We will not always agree on everything. And that’s OK. In our cohesive diversity we will be able to stick together because together we can accomplish our common purpose. Together, and only together, we all win.

My treasure:)

Treasures come in so many different shapes and sizes. They also come in the tangible and intangible.

A treasure can be the shells my children picked up all day at the rocky beach:

Or it can be the memory of the being together in the moment, of the silly conversations such as this:

Mercedez: Why do all those men have on orange? They can't hunt here!
Tasha: That shows how smart you are!
Mercedez: Well you know they do have to wear orange to hunt!

*You have to keep in mind that other people wear orange. Like perhaps the prisoners when they come to Pickwick to pick up trash:)

Lol:) And Mercedez looks so normal:

Treasures can also be found in little moments like this when my directionally challenged children think they know which way we are going:

Me: We're headed South.
Mercedez: Toward Crump and Adamsville
Tasha: That's NOT South Mercedez (me nodding as the truth of Tasha's comment...until she continued) That's NORTH!
Me laughing: That's neither north or south girls, it's WEST!

While they may all use GPS's someday it makes me think of the Velcro generation who could not tie their shoes. Convenience has it's place, but there has to be general knowledge. I threatened to stop and buy a map to which Mercedez said, "Oh mom, we aren't in school, it's Spring Break" Good thing mom is driving cause they will never make it anywhere with their sense of direction! Shoe tying and map reading are among the things I think everyone needs to be able to do.

To me the things I hold in my mind are the best treasures, my memories. I can carry them with me always. They don't take up extra space in the suitcase and I always have room for more.

I sat at the lake today at picnic table writing. The sun was shining and the wind brought conversations to my ears. My children are really funny. I listened to voices tell of fishes found, turtles named Bob, rocks skipped, sand holes, shells...all treasures to me.

I could be anywhere in the world and it would be a joy to have my kids with me (the humor is always priceless). If your treasure is where your heart is...mine is so deeply entrenched in my family:)

Just one more thing God...

We went to bed last night praying to find a place for Sam. We did, this morning one of the options we pursued called. Sam meets and fits into all their criteria. They have beds open immediately and it's a long term program. They even have a transition program for him should he need help at 18. That program will last until he is 21. Hope. It provides a hopeful situation. Only one itty bitty small tiny glitch. You can likely guess...the root of all evil....money. I forgot in all my praying to ask God to let me win the lottery (that would truly be miraculous since i have never bought a ticket!!). I just need a mere $350.00 a day, $10,500 a month, $126,000 a year for the next five years $630,000....that's all:(


I am trying to keep Sam OUT of prison. But it is cheaper to just let him go than to keep him out!

Here's some figures from 1996

The U.S. Prison Industry
Average cost to incarcerate a prisoner for a year: $20,142
Average cost to incarcerate a prisoner per day: $55.18

There is something seriously wrong with the system! Upsetting and Sad.

Is something wrong?

Those are the words that Sarah spoke last night as she called me on the way to Georgia. She then pointed out that I had not blogged since Friday. Life happens. Sometimes I loose sight...sometimes I have everything in sight and no time to sit here and type....sometimes I just can't think of anything nice to say and my momma always said,"if you can't say anything nice....." lol:) Life happens and sometimes I just need a few minutes to catch up. So my blogging extravaganza tonight is for Sarah:)

Oh yeah...and this picture? I love this of Sarah:) I love unbridled joy...that's what's on her face:) This was taken in the in the middle of the Happy Birthday rendition (Paden's first with the crazy volume at out house).

My kind of Monday:)

Sleeping late (haha...aka past 7am without a heart attack for waking up late)...picnic with my kiddos at River Park...Bald Eagle watching at Shiloh...and playing in the yard! While the stress of impending Sam issues, we have had a terrific day. Doug and his roommate came home this afternoon and played side yard football with a whole bunch of happy kids. Tonight we have the big screen pulled down and The Blindside showing. A nice time with my kiddos.....My kind of Monday:)

That's just how I feel!

I feel an awfully lot like Seth looks in this picture. Sam's counselor at the mental hospital called today and the hopeful placement fell through. So, Sam is being released on Wednesday. Sadly, he is being released because there is no placement for him. No one wants to deal with the issues of my son. Not that I blame them. I don't either. I don't want to live with the day in and day out drama and hyper-vigilance that is required.

We are scrambling, working with another worker (from his previous placement) who has been so helpful, to find an appropriate placement. For now, as I have spent the evening on the phone and emailing...I feel about like Seth!

Although....I can say in the midst of my concern, my sweet friend Jackie has agreed to teach my class on Wednesday night (I am just not sure where I'll be). I love my sweet friends! I am truly blessed:)

Paden's sweet family:)

Sunday morning Paden, Sarah's neat boyfriend, brought his mom, sister-in-law and nephew to church with us and then home for lunch. It was a very special time and we all enjoyed the fellowship! I sure do love company:)

Happy Day Jake!

Jacob's 18th birthday was Saturday. We didn't celebrate until Sunday. Jacob really only wanted a sweet potato birthday cake (as he doesn't eat real cake). He loves sweet potato's:) He did have his favorite and he blew out a cake that was for others. The picture below is funny to me...anyone who has every birthday'd with us knows my kids choose the volume of the song "happy birthday". Jacob chose it to be crazy loud!

It is so very hard to imagine he is 18. It was not to very long ago I was having an emergency c-section and delivering a beautiful baby boy. He really was beautiful...c-section babies always are:) I cannot believe the time moves so quickly.

Today Jacob and Sarah are in Georgia with Chelsea and Bo. They left Sunday night and are visiting, working and playing. I am not sure in which order?

Jaco

Scary words!

This morning Victoria came running in the kitchen, jumping with joy and yelling, "It's hatching, the chick is hatching!" Yep scary to me...I did not buy any chicks and at first my resolve was pretty sure as I laughed and said, "What chick?" Still overjoyed and bouncing she repeated (cause mom is obviously slow), "My CHICK, My chick is HATCHING!!" as she pointed down the hall. That sinking feeling mom's have when they realize they might not know the whole story struck me..."where is the chick Tori?" I asked with trepidation. "In the bucket!!!" she said (and yes she was still jumping). "Come on mom, it's hatching!" she said.

You know, as a mom I immediately began playing scenarios in my head ....how it got here, where it was and what was I going to do, were was I going to put a chick??

I asked again...because I am slow apparently, "Where did you say it was Tori? And what bucket??" "In the bathroom in the bucket of water!" came her last reply. Immediately I thought of the poor drowning chick when it struck me...after blogging earlier about asking "good" questions I had not asked the most important one! "A REAL chick?" and Tori said, "no, my one I got for winning the egg contest." I knew she had a gift, even saw it in her hand, but in the midst of listening to the 1st place, 2nd place, 3rd place, 4th place and what they all were and looked like...I had not asked what the gift was. Dawning now struck me, It was a "grow in water pet" :) Thank goodness!!!

It is a super sweet yellow chick...just the kind that brings a mom joy...not fear!

The Ending..

The ending of life is something we can all be assured of. We all have fair warning. It will end and we will be gone. It will end and those we cherish will be gone too. It never seems to matter how "prepared" we think we are....the loss is always just that 'A LOSS'. Those special friendships, those special loved ones, they are gone and there will be nothing that fills their void. I know in work place it is sometimes talked about "no one is indispensable" and while it might not always apply there....it does not apply in life. People are unique. God created miracles and there just are never another one created just like them.

This morning I am headed to the funeral home to give condolences to my sweet friend Regina. Regina's dad died Tuesday. Mr Joe has battled cancer for many years, each time making great progress and each time having a quality of life given back to him. This last time it was not to be. Even knowing, even preparing....a huge loss.

Yesterday afternoon I had a sweet friend message me about a prayer that had been answered. As we have been praying for weeks about this I was excited with her! Then she said texted this words and I cried....

"Thanks for your prayers! Since momma died I really don't know what to pray for sometimes, I feel like I'm still numb and don't know how to pray!"

I cried, sad that her heart is hurt. Sad that losses leave us empty. As I texted her back I thought. I know God knows how to take our sadness, he know how to take our emptiness, he know how to see into our heart and he know what we ask for.... It is at those times, if we let him, that he will give us the most help. He will carry us...we just need to let Him.

The end is always at hand; mine and those I love. But with that ending we have hope of an incredible beginning!! I have to focus on the beginning to get through the ending:)

Keeping Secrets

When do you keep your promises? I was so very upset with Tasha yesterday. Just the day before we sat talking in the car about relationship and friendships, about self and reputation, the serious stuff. Then as I pulled up to gather my middle school chicks her teacher handed me a note with these words, "I thought we were fine, but maybe you can figure out what this means." A note written my my daughter and portions of it in "code" with the coded key attached. The "coded" part not at all nice.

We stood in the driveway, Tasha obstinately, me with note in hand. I began asking questions. I can tell you I have had enough experience with kids to know what questions to ask. In a matter of minutes her lies (to ME) became obvious and with that came the statement, "________ told me to write it, she wanted to know what those words looked like in code and she made me promise not to tell she was part of it." I am assuming that promise was elicited after the note was taken up. My hardheaded daughter shut down, thinking there was honor in keeping this "secret".

The very first three letters of the coded note had given me a clue that Tasha was not alone in the coding. The letters? "OM_" There is nothing that will make me raise my voice quicker or with more anger than a blatant disrespect to the Lord. ALL my children know that. All my children know that "oh my gosh" is not even allowed within my house...I am reminded of my childhood and my dad saying "If you are going to say something that sounds like a bad word you might as well say the real one!" And yes I have received spankings over "shoot" and "darns"...although in my defense..not more than once (I did manage to catch on!). As an adult I appreciate the same sentiments. So when I looked at the letter and at Tasha with her hard headed attitude I realized more was involved.

A letter is in the process (seemingly a long process) of being compiled for her teacher. A heated and long talk about reputation(heated because I just talked about it the day before).

There is a time to keep confidences. There is a time to be quiet. There is a time for all those admirable behaviors. BUT the time is not when the secret is about an ugly act and you(my child) are meant to take the fall. I realize my child part (a huge part quiet frankly) but I also realize she has a teacher who needs and explanation.

Humm...what a wonderful way to begin Spring Break!

4th grade egg contest:)

Every year the 4th grade has an egg contest. Tori is in 4th grade and really enjoyed the contest this year. She has talked about a million different things (most way beyond my ability to help create). This was pretty funny. We were looking to find a stand for her egg so we could make an hippie egg (don't even ask...lol) but found a medicine bottle and the idea sprang from there!

***** Update *****
TORI WON FIRST PLACE!!!

I was looking back and we have had a lot of years of egg making:) Here and here and here... only Seth left to go:)

Loving Spring...

Spring is here (well, kinda sorta almost)!

This picture looks like one of those allergy commercials. I took the picture above with my camera zoom lens and nearly had a heart attack. Until I realized I had the setting on manual and not automatic(thank you Sandy!). After correction I took these of Seth and Ryan in the yard. They are so ready for baseball!


I have so very much enjoyed having Stuart here this week. He has taken boys to practices and helped pick them up:)

Seth's very first practice is today. He wore his lucky shirt, which is actually Caleb's lucky shirt:)

Today Stuart took Michael golfing. Michael was so very excited! Stuart is a lefty and has two sets of clubs (his good set and his starter set)...but Michael is the only lefty hitter(well, Caleb and Jacob are both but Michael is the only little brother) ...so he is golfing. I can't wait to hear about their afternoon:)

Sarah is still traveling...this is the longest I may have seen her (lol...slight, very slight exaggeration!). I took it of her in her pathfinder, as if seems to be where she stays!

Way to Go John!!!

Today John had his interview portion of Boy's State. He called on the way home...HE GOT IT!! John will be going to Boy's State this summer! BIG HUGE INCREDIBLE honor:) Way to go John!!!

Zack's new placement

I spent yesterday with Zack at his new placement. I left home super early (thank you Stuart for getting everyone to school!) and arrived back in time to get my kiddos:) I did like his new placement. It is a great place with and great staff. I was there about 2 hours. New placements are a bit exhausting. I did behavioral time lines, a genogram, and about every other kind of graph. He is settling in well and I hope this is a positive move for him!

Gossip

I have several readers, among them my kids friends. Some friends actually know more of what is going on than my kids (my kids don't all read my blog until their attention is called to it). Last week one of Stuarts friends told him he was sorry to hear that his brother had cancer. Stuart was shocked, he said "what?!" The friend apologized but said "I thought you knew I read it on your mom's blog". Stuart couldn't believe it was true and finally looked at the "blog". The statement I made was one in reference to Sam that said "It's not like he has cancer". Stuart pointed it out....and was relieved. I don't know why that makes me laugh.

Yesterday Miss Bella went to school and told something that when it made it's was to a sister was not what she said to begin with, but you know we are misinterpreted! Best to not be gossiping to begin with! Miss Bella cleaned my bathroom top to bottom (and it is yucky cause I share with 4 boys!). I thought "potty cleaning" was a terribly natural consequence to a "potty talking" mouth. I sat with Bella Sunday for an hour talking about values, having her read and talk with me. I felt so very much better about her attitude when we finished.....only to have that hope squashed. In truth, she only hurts herself. I will not allow her to go and embarrass brothers and sisters if I can help it.....she is restricted for all other activities until her words become action. I have decided this might take a while.

But thankfully I have today and I sure hope to make a difference. One of these days it will work!

Is it really a new week?!

Days are flying by with so much packed in.....Sunday afternoon Scott took Carlton back to the ranch. Spring break over and time to settle back in. Carlton did fine while at home. I have unpublished blogs about the reality of Carlton, but I saved them and after looking back decided to simply leave them saved. The words are there should I ever need to read them, but they do not need to really be blogged. It is simply best to say that he is right where he needs to be. The ranch offers him structure and boundaries we cannot. We are thankful!

Today has been such a dreary day. Puddles, mud and cold keeping my crew inside. Ryan and Daniel spent hours building this afternoon. I really don't need to tell you how loud domino's are on tile. whew!

Due to rain I stood in the long hall of the addition throwing a nerf football with Seth. I know one of my house rules is "No throwing balls in the house!" but on days like this rules have to be lifted. Boys very much need to let go of some energy! I smiled and laughed listening to Seth talk. Boy is he a talker! He told me "When I have a wife we are gonna get 3 boys and 3 girls." I asked him where he was going to "get" these children? He said matter of factly, pointing for emphasis "From the belly button made by God!" :) Priceless. He went on to name them. I was not at all surprised to hear that 2 out of 3 of the girls would be named after Lita. Lita is a sweet sister, very cool, very fun, and not at all whiny....a guys girl. He finished naming them and said, "If we only get 3 boys and ONE girl? That's just the way it will be!" lol:) I LOVE the simplicity of children.

Tonight Mercedez led the devotional at the girls devo. I was very proud of her. We found a neat idea online and she(we) made it her own. She then made bookmarks for everyone that said "I'm God's Mii". Her Scripture was Genesis 1:26 and her lesson was this:

I have a new friend. We haven’t been friends long and we are still getting to know one another, but she seems pretty cool so far. She’s easy-going and fun to be around. She listens to everything I say. She always wants to do whatever I want to do. She even looks a little like me.

But that’s probably because she’s my mii. (A mii is an avatar for Nintendo Wii, in case you were wondering.)

I bonded with my mii as soon as I began creating her. I chose her hair, her eyes, her nose. I made her exactly as I wanted, and then I released her into the Wii world to hang out with all the other miis.

Every time I play the Wii, I am always surprised that my mii does exactly what I tell her to do. She swings and throws based solely on my movements.
She’s a compliant little mii, my ambassador to the Wii world. And she’s always smiling, even when she dives on her face to hit a tennis ball. She always tries her hardest, that mii. Sometimes her dedication inspires me.
One day as I was pondering my mii and our special relationship, a surprising thought struck me: We are God’s miis.

He created us. He chose our hair, our eyes, our noses. He made us exactly as He wanted, and then He released us into this world to be His representatives.
But, unlike the Wii miis, we have a choice. What we do in this world is entirely up to us.

Some earthly miis don’t listen to God’s directions and swing at the wrong time or bowl a gutterball. Some are so in tune with Him that they quickly respond to the slightest move of His hand.

So what about you?

Are you going to keep swinging and missing or will you dive on your face for God, smiling all the while?

It’s not easy, being a mii. But I do know that if we follow God’s direction, if we are the best mii’s we can be…..we will win the most important victory we can imagine!! Heaven!

Cheerleading Tryouts:)

My two 8th grade girls, Mercedez and Rosie, have been in cheer camp all week. This morning was tryouts.....

They did great:) I picked them up, we got lunch in town and came home to wait until noon when they posted the numbers at the school...

Rosie was extremely graceful and sweet in her disappointment. She hugged Mercedez and the other girls and was not at all unkind about waiting through all the excitement.

Mercedez was so excited to be one of the chosen:) Ten girls all together, although only 8 are pictured above. Three little girls we go to church with are also on the next year squad which is really neat too! Hugs and squealing was definitely part of the excitement....such is life with girls!

Caleb

I am not suppose to be blogging much about Caleb, at his request for security reasons, but he will very soon be in a new place with a new goal and moving further from home rather than closer. This blog is for me and for Caleb!

God had plans for Caleb from the moment this world was created. God knew the path this world would take. God knew the how much time would stretch between creation of Adam and creation of Caleb. When God did create Caleb, He poured gifts into him that He knew would enrich not only Caleb’s life, but those around him. The slowest , sweetest, fattest, easy-going, best baby ever; not at all an indication of the man you would be. I sometimes wonder if you were storing up time for your busy future. You toddled and walked and talked with big words. Balls always in hand and a story on your lips, so many adults laughed at your great tales of your imaginary Grandpa. You were so headstrong, so opinionated, so strong willed. You refused to even write your name until you had perfectly perfected each letter. You sure did throw away a lot of paper. Your handwriting has always been impeccable. I still see it in you today. You work and work until you have each art, each challenge perfected. It is one of the most frustrating things about you and at the same time of of the greatest strengths you possess.

Now, you’re far from me. A man of his word, a man who is off perfecting a life I am simply a watcher in. No more fussing from me, no more prodding, no more redirection. You are in your place, you are in your time, you are in control of your choices, your impact. I am so thankful, so grateful, so eternally joyful to be your mom. I am so proud of you, of your choices, of your faith, of your place in this world. Of course there are times I want you here, beside me, with me, under my care and direction….then I remember who you are. You are a Christian, a brother to 20, a son, you are a musician, you are an artist, you are a reader, you are a gamer, you are an athlete and you are so much more……. you are a man who has given his life to a cause bigger than I can fathom, you are happy in your choices, strong in your commitment, proud of your country and you are the keeper of freedom….you are a soldier.

I am reminded of John 15:13 ……I have NO desire for you to lay down your life ( I have every hope and plan that you are home soon), but the very place you are, the very fight you fight, the very life you live….it is exactly as God intends! You make me proud every day! I love you!

Whose's most important?

Scott and I have been talking about our schedule. This week is his big show week, which puts him out of town for a whole lot of days(and nights). Saturdays are visiting days for Sam and tomorrow is a tough day for me. I have two girls trying out for high school cheerleaders, two girls (well, three if you count the friend spending the night so she can go too) going on a youth group trip, on son going fishing and has big plans, three boys and two girls just “here” doing a wide range of “nothing” and Carlton (who just has to have a more serious “eye” watching). Sarah is going to Florida, so no help there. John and Jacob are both working. Scott is wrapping up at the plant so he can be ready to leave for the show. College guys are on Spring Break and headed in different directions.

As I talked with Scott I finally just said, “It's not as if Sam has cancer. He is not suffering from an emergency that trumps all other issues we are dealing with." That might sound harsh, yet the truth is fairly plain to me. For seven years life has been an emergency with my trio of toughies. I have allowed, due to the nature of the problems, them to trump all else. I am not saying I regret that, I am not saying I intend to allow it anymore either. My children are getting older but that does not make their need for me any smaller.

Last night at the baseball field I stood listening to the coach’s parent/player meeting. The coach asked the boys “which is the most important position on the field?” Guessing went on for a few minutes and he said, “They ALL are! None are better than the other.” He then asked, “Which is the most important batting position? 1, 2, 4, 7?” The boys caught on (they are good guys!) and replied "none…they ALL are!" I feel that way with my children. Which is most important? None, barring emergency. I just cannot drive to Kentucky tomorrow and leave my girls to have no mom to pick them up, to take them to lunch, to drive them back to school to read the selected names, to talk, to be happy or sad with them, they just need me. Sadly I could drive to Kentucky and it would not affect Sam’s disposition or attitude either way. It will seriously affect my girls.

After many years of juggling I am just giving myself permission to not feel bad. I certainly did not choose the placement of the boys. My choice would always be well-behaved and home…but it isn’t mine to choose this time.

As to Sam, I am extremely grateful his worker has managed to find a few options. I spent several hours yesterday filling out applications and was super blessed that my John took them and faxed them for me! Sam is no longer doing well at the hospital. He got into a fight on Wednesday night and was placed in a hold….which in Sam-vision means he is tired of trying to be good so he can get out. The real Sam is showing and I hope that vision might make finding a placement easier! Certainly would be best if it just prolonged his stay until Scott gets home from his show!

My Neat Son!!!

My son John has had a super great week! John left Monday for the Tennessee Electric Cooperative Associate Leadership Summit. This summit was comprised of the 22 cooperatives in the state. Each of those cooperatives brought 2 representatives, from two different schools. The representatives are chosen based on counselor and teachers recommendations, John was chosen to represent our high school and county. John spent three days in Nashville visiting elected officials and even Miss Tennessee! It was an extremely neat honor for my really neat son!!

BTW..he did not wear this shirt...lol...it was all business wear:) But this picture? This is all "John wear"!

My special visitor:)

I am not sure my mother-in-law counts as a visitor, she is truly extra special family! Much like your "good china" she is the best of the best:) Nancy came on Tuesday and has been here all week with us. She will be headed back to Murfreesboro tomorrow.

One of the most wonderful blessings God bestowed to me was and is an incredible woman I love, admire and cherish. It's a blessing because truthfully as a young person, well, young people are clueless....they(me, myself and I) know not what they want and especially what they need. So a gift like Nancy can only be from God. I'm sure as a young wife, at that youthful time I never considered the time, the love, the influence, the support, the laughter, the sorrow, the true friendship that was in store for my life. He chose the best (I know it and God does too!). I sometimes wonder in my youthful bliss if God did not just peep into my future and think to Himself....Amanda is REEAALLLY gonna need Nancy....and He blessed my unknowing soul with her:) Nancy is my most favorite example of "Christ-like". Just today, as she washed, capped and put up strawberries for me, she mussed, "how can people say "___" is my favorite grandchild?" Then she talked so lovingly about how God created each grandchild and how special they all are. See?! A blessing! And I am and will eternally be grateful to call her mine. Even if I have to share! lol..and I will:)

Jumping for Joy:)

Tonight Nancy, Sarah and I (well, actually us and the rest of the gang) watched as Mercedez showed us her cheers and jumps she has been working on at cheer camp this week. Mercedez and Rosie have been going, but Rosie refused to honor us with her abilities. After Mercedez it quickly became a "Toe Touch" show down. The trio (Michael, Ryan and Daniel) all returned from baseball practice to join in too! Super funny, and lots of laughs!! These are a few of my jumpers:








I am not sure this last jumping guy is mine. Tonight he asked me to sign a release so he could give blood. He actually made the decision and filled out the whole form except for my signature. Give blood? Haha...he sure is mine but that part is all "Dad"!