Impending something...

I'm not sure what to name this post. I'm at a loss. Impending Doom or Impending Salvation? At this point I think the situation could go either way. Impending "something" is likely more appropriate. I left home a little after 6 am. Drove to Bowling Green and stopped first at Potters. I exchanged paperwork, talked about options that are still pending, and watched papers being faxed to yet another pending placement. I went to the house and picked up all Sam's things. I talked a while with his sweet and sad foster mom. I told her and I meant it..I understand her frustration. I do. The only difference is she has a choice, and I do not (well, not right now). I left Potters going to the pediatric Psychiatrist office to sign releases. Left there to go to Rivendell Mental Hospital to actually pick up Sam. I listened to the worker tell about meds (they had taken Sam off the one that most helps with mood swings because his blood work came back poor). I listened to triggers and coping skills. I have listened to that same conversation about 200 times. Sam is good at it. Sam knows his triggers, he knows his coping skills, he simply chooses to not use that knowledge when push comes to shove (he shoves). Sam and I signed all the paperwork needed and left.

Scott had been working all day to find placements and did find several good options. He called and gave me directions to Kinko's in BG. Sam and I spent 30 minutes (lol..or more) faxing papers to Scott to fax to rtc's. We left for home, arriving in time to go in Walgreen's and get all his meds. We arrived home a long 12 hours after I left.

Scott took the kids to church and I stayed home with Sam (who did not need to be the center of attention, pressed for questions and such that would make him anxious). We unpacked all his clothes, putting up the winter clothes and sorting through the rest. And then, as Sam sat here watching TV I sat here (at the computer) typing a safety plan.

After reading the Doctors words that stated "Sam does not need to be at home as he is a safety risk, he need to find immediate therapeutic placement". Scott and I are trying! In keeping with the seriousness of the situation I now have a planned safety plan to post.

I am thankful for John and Sarah, they spent the day taking care of my Spring Breakin' kiddos. They got boys to baseball and even had chores done:) I am also so grateful to Scott who took off from work tomorrow to keep Sam so the kids and I could still go to the Zoo. I might have had a revolution on my hands otherwise:)

Life goes on....in spite of the issues.

On the way to Bowling Green this morning I called Caleb. He was my straw today(the one that broke the mom). As I drove in frustration at the situation with Sam, I listened to my Caleb tell me his things were now all in storage and he was leaving for Afghanistan in the next few days. I cried. Good grief who wouldn't? And I didn't even have music playing! I thought about my neat son, my soldier, who is prepared and able minded and just one awesome guy. And the contrast could not be any greater. All day, the stress of Sam and the impending departure of Caleb to war had me teary. I have been very very strong about Caleb and his service. I am very proud of him. I told Scott tonight at dinner that in spite of knowing he is ready I want to sing "Billy don't be a hero" :) Scott and I both smiled, for once grateful that Caleb is not the tallest guy in the crowd:) Making it much easier to "keep his head low". It's always hard to be sad when talking to Caleb. His words to me about Sam were laughing, "Just think of the stories you will be able to tell me mom!" I reminded him that those kinds of things were only funny LONG after they happened and I was not hoping, at all, for material to share with him. He laughed. Knowing, as me, that material is inevitable.

Prayers. Prayers for both my boys is needed. And a prayer for those boys parents would be awfully nice too!