How?? and Why??

Today I stood in the kitchen with Scott talking about our kids. In a world of issues, and we do have lots, our kids are (as a whole) confident in their own skin. I laughed with Scott as we thought of "why?" scenarios...Maybe because there are so many they have to fight to be individuals? Maybe because we do not place importance on stuff, which I think sometimes can create in a child self-consciousness at not having stuff. Maybe because we do not join into the whole "going to friends houses and socialization every single weekend". We are not anti-people but we don't feel like you have to have a friend to go visit every weekend to be happy in life. We don't allow our children cell phones(unless you have a job and are paying for it...also you must still earn it!). We don't allow computer emails or face book until they are in their teenage years (13 or up) and then again...only when earned. Why? How did it happen? There are lots of things we do that are very very intentional. We parent with the intent that our children earn their way in life, that they show others respect, that they take personal ownership....but you have to know not everyone does (haha...isn't that life?).

So what makes the difference? I know Chelsea and Sarah were always stand on their own people. They like things because they "liked them" not because everyone had one. If anything I think they searched out that individuality and I praised it. I do not wish my children to go off the deep end, but I want they to have confidence. I want them to feel they can climb any mountain....even alone if need be. I want that kids of character for them. Chelsea, Sarah, Stuart, Caleb, Joseph, John, Jacob...all unique. All grew up in our house and all were at peace with their lives, with their means. They worked for anything they "wanted", we just did not hand out freebies. They built confidence in who they were ...and what they could accomplish. I am of course speaking in generalizations....we have had tough things over the years. With the building of our children's character comes lots of head butting:)

I do know that communication is key. But a step further than communication is making a connection. When your words ring true. For as many years as I can remember I have talked about real-life events and equated it to good decision making for my children.

I may have some kids who are weak spirited and have low confidences, but when I do it seems our family pulls them in, chops their weakness up and spits out individualism.....our job as parents is the direct those individuals:) Some stronger, some weaker, some bigger than life, some slipping through life. But it has been our great blessing that all have emerged as healthy young adults (so far so good...).

I would be remiss to leave out prayer. At the same time, it would be remiss to say that prayer only makes a difference. God intends we use ALL our resources as we raise our children, that we take each circumstance and twist it to His glory. Isn't that what God does?

How and Why's we are not sure, but we are ever so grateful for this house full of hard-headed individuals:)