We are all home today, thankful for the Presidents who so greatly influenced our nation and history that we have a day of recognition. In their honor (haha...I am sure they had to be "ship shape" people) we are cleaning. So much to be done during these last few days! My children have been slouching, big time. I for a month quit asking them to do much of anything, I just refused to put for effort (aka MONEY) for them to do anything. I simply replied, " I am so tired from doing your chores I really don't want to do that" or "Time for bed, I am exhausted."(that being an extremely early 7:00 bedtime). The effort to show my children that I love them and will care for them (whether they do chores or not) has been successful. All have had clothes to wear, food to eat and a house to live in. But all have not had snack money for school, ice cream money for treats, Thump(except when dad let them go unknowingly while I was out of town), or extra stuff. Because it is all extra. It is a gift. It is earned. And frankly my kids have not been up to par lately.
This morning I sat them all down and tearfully (yep I cried...blame it on the week) explained "how life is going to be". No more chores (because they are not freely doing them ...meaning they cannot self motivate), so from now on...what I say...you do. Simple. If I am going to have to remind you to do your chores I might as well be telling you what I want done. I am also working on the second mile attitude. When my kids had chores they felt like they should not have to do anything that wasn't "theirs", missing the point of family and the attitudes I desire them to have(not to mention God's desires for them). I talked and my 10 little people listened. I do have some great kids. But that has NOTHING to do with great helpers. Someday they will quit being great if they do not learn service. If they do not learn to have a giving heart. Today is about working on those hearts.
I wrote a whole blog about individualism (which I have yet to publish) and as I type this I cannot help but think of that blog. But if there is anything all individuals need to have in common to be successful? It has to be respect. It has to be ownership. We all need to know where our strengths lie. We need to acknowledge that. BUT just because you aren't great at something DOES NOT give you permission to not do it. I may not be great at cooking, but my family still needs to eat. I know laundry is not my most loved pass time, but we still need cleans clothes.
Understanding this is about LIFE!! I sure hope my kids get it! If they don't, it won't be because I didn't try:)
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It is an interesting perspective on chores. I would have never thought to link them to service!
ReplyDeleteIf I link it to "self" some people(children) do not mind living "trashy", they would only feel they need to please themselves. But, to me (meaning my opinion...lol) it is not about self. For the rest of thier lives they will be beholden to others opinion..work, teachers at school, police, and even God! I am not taking away individuality...they truly can treat thier houses however they choose someday. But there has to be a reason why we do the things we do...and (again, to me) the biggest reason is love and respect(for self and others), which rolls over to serving. Just my take:) Thanks for the comment!
ReplyDeleteI look at "chores" as a way to serve your family - if you cannot appreciate and serve your own family, the people who, in turn, serve you, than how can you truly serve others? We don't give allowance for chores, but I feel we provide all of our childrens needs, and many of their wants because we love them. In the last few years, it has become glaringly apparent that my older kids were helping the younger ones a little too much in the area of chores because now that the older kids are off on their own or in college, nothing is getting done correctly. We never had a chore chart, they just did what I said needed to be done (ah, the good ol' days lol). I have assigned jobs in the past few months and they just never get done either. I have stopped taking trips to the library with them, doing extra things at school (book fair, ice cream money, etc) because it is very clear to me that they are taking much of what they have for granted.
ReplyDeleteDid you ever watch the original version of the movie "Cheaper by the Dozen"? I like the new version MUCH better (as I found out watching the old one). There was a scene where the mother says to the children that they are going to be hiring a housekeeper to do all of the chores the children have been shirking. They are all ecstatic until she goes on to say, "Since all of our money will be spent on the new housekeeper, there will be no money left for movies, or soda, or parties, etc" and the kids all get it and (grudgingly) do what they have to do. I want them to do things for the family (to give back) with a happy heart and a smile on their faces - too much to ask for? maybe, maybe not. Until my kids get their acts together, I am just way too tired to drive them places, spend money on them or even rent movies for them to lounge around watching on the weekends. I've also been sending them to bed earlier and earlier (yes, even 7pm) because I am so tired from all the extra work I've been doing. I'm not looking for little slaves, just trying to emphasize the whole idea of not honoring "self" more than others.