Margin of Error

Have you ever wondered what the good parenting margin of error is? I have. Seriously, it sounds like a contradiction. How can a "good parent" make "errors"? :) What a thinking error all by itself. Yet it is truly one that people, Christians even, hold.

I make mistakes ALL THE TIME. Ask my kids. Kids are great at remembering those moments. I laugh every time I think about Caleb's talk to John before leaving for the Army. It went something like this...."Mom is always right. Give in, accept it. Even when she is wrong...she is still right!". lol:) I think perhaps the better point is even when she is wrong be respectful!

But, why do people believe parenting can't hold mistakes? Last night I was chatting with a friend about a subject we neither one are terribly supportive of, yet she is at the bottom of the barrel and looking at it. I made the comment that at very least she would have tried, she would have been open to change and willing to try new things. Her reply "And that is important?" To me....YES! I never want to be in a corner and be told that due to my close-mindedness I had passed over good opportunities. In parenting we have to realize that we WILL make mistakes and when we do be willing to change.

I sat with a lady not to long ago who asked me about consequences I used. I spouted off a few and she asked about the effectiveness and how long I had been using one? I talked about the good results and I smiled as I told her I had not been using it long. Some rules in our house are hard limits, always the same response will come from me. But the consequence? It changes. I feel it has to. Age, maturity, adaptability to circumstances, and plain old appropriateness has to be a factor every time. Change is good. In consequences, change is almost always there, because I am a "try to be a natural consequence whenever possible" kind of mom. So if you throw food, you clean it up (you do not go to your room! Then who is left to clean?? NOT me!); if you knock over the trashcan,you pick it and the contents up; it you didn't sweep the kitchen when I asked, you will likely sweep the kitchen AND the living room. I like naturalish consequences, but my children are not cookie cutter kids and they do not do the same things...so there is always change.

I really believe the margin for error is large in parenting, but I really believe equally that there is no margin of grace it simply IS! It is a constant, it is there with me and my children. That grace allows me to say when I have overstepped, over spoken and it allows me to extend that same grace to my children. Just the other day I was passing out ice cream money to my kiddos as they got out at the elementary school, the last one out (the one who did not deserve it) stopped as I had my hand out with 50 cents. He looked up and said, "I didn't do my chore", I smiled and said, "I know, it's the grace of mom." He smiled. Change. We have to be willing to change. Not so much compromise on our hard limits, but show grace on the soft ones when we can.

I am always reminded of a quote I read as a young mother, "Say yes as often as you can!". Parenting is tough, the margin for error (lol...definite), but the grace, the "yeses" we can show to our children are likely one of the greatest ways to share God with them:)