Snuggling

Our last "baby" has slept with Scott and I most of his life. When we brought Seth home from the hospital I worried about bonding. I really did. I knew at that point the dangers of attachment disorders and fully intended to sidestep all those. I breast feed Seth for several months, I carried him in a sling as much as possible, he had such bad allergies and eczema that he slept so well on my chest (and I let him). I was mom of many already and for the first time in my life I gave in to what was easiest and what worked...co-sleeping worked. We had parented about 35 children(counting foster children) before I allowed a co-sleeper. It was a huge compromise of my parenting values. Today? Well, today I know that I likely have no child who has a stronger love or bond with me. For years and years I could be anywhere, on a football field, at a loud basketball game, at the nursing home visiting my grandmother, or sitting in the church building, it mattered not where we were Seth could crawl up in my lap and sleep. He laid his head on my chest and was gone. He did not have a blanket or a favorite teddy...I was his comfort, I was his peace. That feeling, that joy worked both ways...for Seth and me.

Finally, 8 years later he is sleeping in his room most all of all nights. He has reached the age. It is very bitter sweet for me, on one hand I am ever so grateful for the extra room in our bed now, and on the other I see the end of childhood. Granted he will always be my little boy, my baby, but he is a boy, and growing up.

I smiled yesterday at him. He had patted my arm about 4 am and asked if he could get in bed. When I woke up I told him we needed to get up and going. He walked into his room (I thought to get dressed), but when I stepped into the hall he was up on his bed looking at Michael (who had pulled a mattress into the room to camp out with Seth) and while stretching he said, "Time to get up Michael". Michael was none the wiser to Seth, thinking Seth had slept there all night. It was at that moment I realized Seth trying (pretty successfully) to grow up. He did not want everyone to think he slept with mom and dad. I smiled and laughed telling Scott. I see the end of those snuggling moments. Now, looking back, I would not trade one moment of those snuggling years:)