Why are you moved?

"What moves you," and if you're interested we'd like to know what moved you and your husband to adopt some of your children?

I was approached with this question and smiled. What moves me is easy and frankly it is the same thing that moved me to adopt ALL my children.

The history?


I am the oldest of nine children. My parents fostered from the time I was in about second grade until I was in High School when they stopped to adopt. So a big family was not anything unusual for me. I always knew that I wanted adoption to be part of my family someday and was blessed to find a wonderful husband who felt the same.

We had “small” vision in our adopting…lol. We had four birth children and then expected to find a sibling group of 4 younger then our birth children and stop. We began through fostering and foster 40 children before we stopped to adopt only. Our children began praying that everyone could stay forever….we agreed. We did adopt one little girl we had in foster care, she was a sweet blessing.

In 1999 we began looking for a sibling group. Three or four mind you! I found a great group in Texas of six. Scott did not fall over and we inquired. They just sounded too good to be true….and they were. Ages 1,2,3,4,7 and 9. Lots of people wanted the four little ones…..but few wanted them all. Scott and I thought they all were wonderful and in July of 2000 they came home. I told everyone I was finished…..eleven was more than enough. Especially when those eleven children were ages 1-12.

The following year my youngest adopted sister who has considerable mental issues got pregnant. She asked Scott and I to take the baby. Seth was born in November of 2001, came home from the hospital with us and was the easiest incorporation !

We no longer said we were through…but we weren’t searching.

We had a worker contact us in 2002 to ask if they could submit our home study on a group they were going to court with. She asked “would we consider 5 sibs?” I told her sure we would “consider” them…..but that is a far stretch for taking them. She used our study and for several months we kept making “cuts”. We prayed that the right family be chosen for these children! And another family was chosen. Three months later the worker called and asked if you would read the profiles and please consider the children.

At this point in our adopting I can tell you that we were no longer immature adopting parents. We never asked for a single picture…..we read the profiles and made our decision. The children all came home in Jan 2003. By far the toughest and sweetest bunch of kids you’ll ever meet. My most challenging boys. And one little girl.

A year later we had a set of 5 year old twins come and stay …..they were from a disruption (or what we felt might be) We adopted them a year later and they will be 13 this fall.

Our 20th and 21st are two wonderful brothers. We were not able to adopt these two “sons of my heart” but had power of attorney. No paper could make them anymore ours. Both are currently students are Freed Hardeman University.


So why are we moved?

We believe that every child deserves a mother and father. It doesn’t always happen, but at very least, every child should have a home, a family, love, support and guidance. We have so many children because we have adopted sibling groups. We have not adopted any children, any sibling groups, without taking them ALL. We believed in “No child Left behind” long before it became a phrase heard in schools.. We feel that children should have the chance to grow up without worrying about a brother or sister who was not blessed, was not given opportunity at life. We really believe it is a huge strength for our children and our family.

There came a point in parenting that we realized our family, our children were “what we do”. We don’t drive to UT to watch Tennessee Football games but we rarely miss a flag football game, junior pro tackle football game or a high school game when our son kicked. We have had cross county runners, basketball players, a volleyball player, soccer players, baseball players and band members. Those games are important, our children are thereJ We are very active in our youth group activities. We know that our children will truly only find peace and joy and life in Christ….it’s important, a must, a gotta have. We do everything as a family and the difference it makes in our lives and the lives of our children we intend to last through eternity.

I could give you many many Biblical examples. They are there. We have an obligation to love others unconditionally. That’s true. But, I see that unconditional love in the life and attitudes of my children…and those examples speak so loudly to me. Our oldest daughter Chelsea was planning her wedding earlier this year when Seth our youngest (8 at the time) asked a question, “Hey Chelsea, what color are your babies gonna be when you and Bo have’em?” I was standing nearby and turned to watch Chelsea say, without missing a beat, “What color do you think they will be?” It didn’t matter that Chelsea and Bo were both caucasion, in Seth’s mind that had nothing to do with family, nothing to do with love. He thought a minute and nodded, smiling as he said,” I think 4 boys, two black, one brown like Ryan and one like me.” (meaning two African Americans, one Hispanic and one Caucasion) Chelsea nodded along with Seth and said, “Maybe, we’ll just have to wait and see?” It is THAT example that moves me… It’s Christ in my children, Christ in my life. Family, it’s a HUGE blessing.


We truly believe that God has no limits. When He says that we can do all things through Him, we believe Him. We have never limited God. I tell my kids all the time that just because “you” cannot do something does not mean it’s impossible. I cannot begin to fathom the tools and understanding a brain surgeon has. I cannot imagine successful brain surgeries! They seem impossible to me. But they are not impossible…they happen everyday! I think my family is much like that. It might be hard understand how we do it, it might be easier for some than others…..but the bottom line? Nothing is impossible with God. We believe that this life will lead us in so many directions, but God? He will increase our work and He will bless us beyond measure if we simply allow Him to!

Leaving on a jet plane...

Wednesday morning we arrived at Nashville International Airport with Caleb. As I watched him get ready that morning it was very very hard...





As we walked through the airport it was very very hard....





All the hugging and goodbyes was hard, period!



Watching the plane after he boarded was very very hard....




But the hardest part, for me, is the memories of the fun while Caleb was home. It's knowing it will be a long time until I have him home again. I cannot bemoan communication, Caleb calls me nearly every week. I get an email or facebook message most days. But it's these things I will miss....

The hugs...

The silly Sarah and Caleb combos....




The guys in and out of the house playing rockband....


And the ability to just reach out and touch this neat son of mine....

"Time is the longest distance between two places" Tennessee Williams

A deep sigh is about as much as I can allow myself right now. Caleb has about 30 hours left in the states before returning to Afghanistan. It took him 5 days to get home but I'm betting he makes it back to work a whole lot quicker.

I am trying to bottle-up lots of moments...adding them to my nearly 19 years of "history" with this neato son. Today he tried to tell me he loved me more. But any mother knows and understands we loved our children ALL OF OUR children LONG before they loved us. It matters not if they came by birth, adoption or foster...we wanted them...we desired to be parents....be made a choice to love. I loved Caleb long before I met him:)

He was very happy his new computer got here before he had to leave. I sat beside him this morning watching all the cool apps and seeing all the wonders of a aluminum apple:)

I have moment after moment of his time home....

First First day of School....

Today was Sarah's first day of school:) Funny to be taking pictures of my daughter who teaches~ But, these moments never get old for a mom!

Loving Life

I think one of the neatest parts of pictures is the warm feelings they illicit in me. I look at them and my heart melts. Perhaps they are truly awesome because there is no volume:) I see peace, I see clean white dressed children, I see angelic faces....haha...I almost said I see an imaginary world, but that wouldn't be true. What I do see it a super sweet piece of pie....a slice of life. Memories, those small slices we can go back to and enjoy are some of the only material things I love. I looked at this picture and perhaps like it equally as much as the "good" picture...this is more realistic to me....my children all moving and yapping and being together:) I just had to share it!

round trips...

Not sure any two guys could look more alike than these two. Carlton is the oldest boy of the sibling group of five we adopted and Daniel is the youngest boy. Undeniably alike.

Today Carlton had to be back at the ranch by 4. Caleb rode with us. Carlton listened to his music and ignored talk all the way, Caleb and I engaged in talk. What a difference in these guys! People always ask how Carlton is doing. I can say "fine" but obviously not normal fine because he is not living at home. Fine meaning that within the parameters of the ranch and their structure he is somewhat successful. Not flying with the eagles, not on the top good behavior level, but he's just fine. We feel that with the level of structure he currently has he might make it to graduation.

I talked with Scott and told him we likely needed to document behaviors when he was home. He isn't "out there" but neither is he "here" sometimes either. As Scott's parents got ready to leave Saturday morning I was in the driveway with a few of my kids to hug and wish Grannie and Pa goodbye. I watched, without saying anything, as Carlton turned his back and stood under a tree not 15 feet from where we were saying our goodbyes. I waved and walked back into the house. When Carlton came in I asked why he didn't tell them bye? I asked why he hid under the tree? I explained that if he had been in the house and had not known they were leaving I would have understood, but to ignore them? I didn't understand. I even explained that Grannie and Pa had waited until Thursday to come because he would be home, everyone would be there to spend time with. Carlton is about "self", only himself.

We allowed him to go to our friend Harvies to visit on Saturday. Scott had him come home to fix Harvie and himself a plate for dinner. Scott then (at 7:30 pm) let Carlton walk back to Harvies with the food, after telling Carlton to come home when they finished eating. At 9:30 Scott called to have him come home. We weren't' really worried about Carlton, but had waited on him to come home on his own. Hummm...not sure when that would have happened?

Today I told him as we were eating lunch before leaving the house for the ranch that he had clothes in the dryer, but if we left them until we were ready to leave they would probably have time to dry. He immediately walked to the dryer and bagged the clothes. I asked him what I said and he had no clue.

One of the big issues I personally have in dealing with Carlton is the fact that IF he is listening, he rarely UNDERSTANDS. That is so debilitating. I feel it's also disrespectful. I did talk to him briefly about why it's important for him to listen. Why it's important to HIM. Surprisingly he does not like to be questioned. Geez! If I am never sure you hear the words I say then you'll likely get drilled a lot of "what did I say?" "Do you have any questions?" "can you tell me what I said in your own words"....all those yucky, but apparently much needed follow-ups.

I say all that and I cannot talk about Carlton without saying we are so very blessed by the Ranch and all their staff! More importantly, Carlton is blessed through their love, concern and leadership!! The knowledge that he is in such a great place makes that 6 hour round trip slightly (lol....a whole lot) easier!!

Good examples!