Great Expectations...

I often wonder what life will be like when I get my children grown. I really can't begin to imagine. Life has flown by, it has a way of doing that. While I was not even looking my children have grown up. Chelsea is 22 years old. I was married, a mother, and thinking I was "all grown up" at that age. Just yesterday. It was just yesterday. Now, in a blink of an eye she is ready to be a wife herself.

Sarah was my quickest to get here baby. 20 years ago she arrived less than 25 minutes after I walked into the hospital thinking I was in false labor. My only natural birth, by necessity more than planning. Sarah was such an easy baby. So sweet, all blond headed and huge blue eyes. I never expected to have a Blondie and certainly not one with blue eyes.

Caleb is in Germany. Today I was telling about his imaginary Grandpa. That Grandpa was so much part of his pre-school years. So many funny stories. My first born son, my first left-hander, my first football player, and my first soldier. It was just yesterday!

Jacob was my "last" baby. I intended to enjoy the baby in him...and he walked at 5 months, climbed out of his baby bed at 7 months and was into everything he could touch. A smart cookie, although always sweet and obedient.

My family came at all ages, a newborn(Seth), 5 months(Rosie), 1 year(Ryan), 2 years(Lita), 3 years(Tasha and Victoria), 4 years(Mercedez and Daniel), 5 years(Michael and Isabella), 6 years(Samuel), 7 years(John and Zackery), 8 years(Carlton), 9 years(Joseph), 14 years(Stuart), and 16 years(Doug). I remember each day....each "first". I remember those moments; the joy, hope and dreams I immediately had for each and every child was exactly the same....

Sweet faces, sweet laughs, sweet times....they pass so quickly. I laughed today at Sarah who said, "Teenagers are horrible". She has no idea she was my first tough teenager, the one who tested me first and was such a struggle for me. She (like most my hard-headed kids) lived though those years and emerged a wonderful young woman.

I imagine the hard-headed kids I am persevering through now will have the same lovely results. lol..well, that is my expectation, my hope, my wish...and my endless prayer!

Time flies. No surprise. I just hope as mine continues to fly that I never loose sight of the joy in each day, that I always stop and see the sunshine, see God's hand in my wonderful life. Someday I want to look back and see my children all grown, see them all successful. That's a HUGE dream, but one that I will always desire. For some it seems harder to attain that for others, but God can do anything He wishes and my prayer is always that He work in my children's lives and they spent their lives in His service:)

Neither.....

“Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor hail shall keep the postmen from their appointed rounds.”

This works for mail carriers and it works for moms too:)

Today Graymere church of Christ had a beautiful tea for Chelsea and Bo. Sandy managed to get out of her driveway and drove to Savannah to meet Sarah and I. Sarah armed with cough medicine and tissue (as she is still recovering from a yucky virus...but fever free for a couple of days) and Sandy stopped to let me picture them (surprise I know...lol).

We all drove the long way to Columbia. The drive was truly beautiful with all the iced trees. It took a little over 2 hours, but we arrived right on time.

After the tea we went back to Renee and John's (Bo's parents) and they treated us to a wonderful lunch! I sure did enjoy getting to visit with them.

I love days like this. I am grateful Scott watched all the Indians at home so I could share the joy of the day! Also thankful Chad watched Cade, Chance and Cooper so Sandy could go with us too!!

rain/sleet/snow

Rain/Sleet/Snow hit Savannah today. Bo and Chelsea barely making it to Columbia today. I felt like a "mother hen" telling them they needed to get on the road (I was nicely fussing). When they left I decided I had become my mother..lol. Then I realized I never appreciated that about my mom. My mom was really smart (haha..and I must take the mother-hen thing after her!).

Sarah and Scott took this picture tonight. While snow fell all around us we primarily got ice. It is hard to get around now, but by tomorrow it should be really dangerous.

We have been stuck in the house all day. I really love being stuck in the house. Well, I love being stuck until everyone gets stir crazy:)

Seth's friend Korey came home from school with us Wednesday and is still with us. His dad was taken to the ER. Initially it was thought that he had gall bladder problems, but they are still awaiting a firm Dx. It has been fun for Seth to have a buddy here to play with:)

The Joys of Life!

Chelsea is counting down the days. Tonight at church a friend asked her the official wedding day. Chelsea said, "Feb the 20th, that's in 24 days." I looked at her, all smiles and excitement, and wanted to laugh (actually did a little). The very joy is contagious. So many ask how I feel about "everything". I smile knowing the everything is so much, but mainly the busy part, and the letting go part. I am only interested in the enjoying part. I want to love each day I have with Chelsea home. I know that there will be many more days of joy as she and Bo begin their lives together. He is such a wonderful man. Most importantly, he loves God and he love Chelsea. Joy. Of all the bad, of all the awful, of all the sadness this world offers. This union, this time, this marriage is all about joy.

I decided months ago as we began this "journey to the day" that I would not be crazy (well, crazier than usual), I would not freak out over stuff, I would not sweat the small things, I would focus on Chelsea. We (I can speak for Scott although I rarely do), we both are so very proud of Chelsea. We are so very proud of this remarkable young woman who we have loved all her life(seemingly forever).

I smiled as we had this picture printed on some cards today for Chelsea to mail out. This picture is joy! In my every empty moment I am savoring that sweetness:)

Zack

Yesterday I had a family session with Zack. We went over a behavioral report card. As we began Zack commented, "I have issues". That is like the understatement of the year....but it still made me want to laugh. Yes he does, and yes he is acknowledging them, but yet he truly is not able to make progress. That part is not funny at all.

He skirted around his "bad day". He did not want to tell me about it. I asked him, "What is the absolute worst thing that I could do to you?" He thought a minute and said, "You could send me to my room, or I might have to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner." So often Zack would throw his food resulting in a pb&j later or sometimes he would act out in such a way he could not join us at the table, which occasionally resulted in a pb&j. As he stopped I said, "Do I have control over your bedtime right now? (he said no) Do I feed you dinner? (again no) A few weeks ago I sat here as you shared things that I had never heard and if you remember Ms Anna asking I was literally sick and very upset by your words. What did I do then? (nothing, he said) So, you can share anything you would like and know that I might be sad for you, but I am not going to 'do anything' to you."

He began....two hours later we ended. The jest was disrespect, disobedience, running, not following prompts by staff, destruction of property, shoving staff, threatening staff (with words and objects, staff thought he was trying to stab them)and in the end threatening to take his life(emphasizing that with a belt around his neck).

I am sad. I am sad that after 17 months of treatment this is were he is. I do not blame the rtc. I really don't place all the blame on Zack. It ALL belong on two people, a birth mom who abused substances in-vetro and both the mom and birth dad who destroyed a child's hope at a normal life.

So many considerations. But to Scott and I, safety for Zack and others is number one. Zack now stand a little more than a head taller than me. Not as tall as Jacob, but bigger by weight and bigger than all my other kids at home. His size and aggression makes safety a serious issue. We are ever so thankful for his placement. Ever so thankful, that even if he is not choosing to improve, even if he is not capable of improving, he has opportunity. He has incredible resources right there with him.

On the flip side, I will be in Kentucky tomorrow at a meeting with Sam. Sam apparently flipped off his teacher and threatened bodily harm to other students. I have been asked to be there for that meeting. I am Sam's history.

Chelsea rode to Memphis with me yesterday. I asked if she would like to be in the meeting with us? In Chelsea's words, "um, no. I already did one, that was enough." I kinda feel that way sometimes. These meetings run together. The topic is usually the same, the words spoken are usually the same, the outcome is usually the same. Instead, Chelsea wrote thank you notes (a bunch) and I did the same old same old.

Life can be new and exciting and at other times very predictable. I find most of my "tough guy" meetings to be pretty predictable and my vocabulary is almost always the same. I often wonder at what point it will change?

My friend...

I have, and perhaps some of you, followed my friend Cindy's escalation into great sorrow over her tough kids. I have know Cindy as a friend online for more than 10 years. I can remember her "young and enthusatist" and I see her now downtrodden. It is sad. But, it is so very real. I do not talk much about the downside to adoption (oh please...lol...I don't talk too much about the downside of parenting period!). Anyone, truly, anyone with any sense realizes there are some incredible success stories with adoption (and birth children), there are some average "good and bad" stories and there are some that make me cry. Cry over the losses of a child and the losses of dreams parents have for their children. I am the oldest of 9 siblings, 3 bio and 6 adopted. My dad says of his children, "I have some that can and do, some that can and don't and some that can't". I always laugh at the truth of the sentence. The ones who can't? They are the hardest to live through. My friend Cindy has a variety like my dad and myself. This morning I forwarded the following message to Cindy.

Oh Cindy,

I have been reading your escalating posts over the last few weeks without replying. For that I am sorry. I have prayed. So much loss. So much sorrow. So much compromise of self (even when you are strong and faithful and knowing....we are called to give way more than we should).

I shake my head, I cry, I understand. Yesterday I talked with a worker who wants us to have a parent evaluation to see if one of my guys (17 months in RTC with no progress only escalation) can come home. You know, that eval WILL say we (meaning Scott and I) can do it. We are intelligent, we are educated, we have resources, we have faith and resolve....BUT I cannot protect my 10 smaller younger children from his anger. I cannot introduce violence, knowing that the same child bragged yesterday that "staff"(aka...plural) cannot get him into a hold. I am staff at home, I am not a warrior, and I am not willing to go there. I can only plea sorrow. Such great sorrow.

The same worker tried to tell us that this child "Loved and respected me". No he doesn't. Truly. Love? To the degree he can perhaps. But respect? Absolutely not. I really hate being so negative, but you know....that's life. That's life with children we CANNOT fix. We can love, we can work, we can search out resources, but we cannot undo years of abuse.

I am so very sorry. I am sorry you give so much knowing that the return is nil. I want you to know I appreciate you so very much!! I am thankful, as so many others, that you are honest about your journey. I need honesty. I appreciate and love you my friend!!

Fellow mother-at-arms,
Amanda

I think I always need to remind myself that this world is NOT our home! We will live here, we will do the best we can, we will even be happy at times, but our true joy is not found upon this land, not found on this earth. That's something I have to constantly remind myself.

All that said, this is my life (just as surely as Cindy's is hers) and we have no choice but to persevere! I know that I can do all things (I need to do) because God has promised that if I am faithful He will be with me. So, I just have to keep up my end of the bargain:)

Correction

This morning I listened to Ryan ask Isabella to come and throw away her left over bagel. Bella and Mercedez were in the living room basking in front of the fireplace. From my spot by the sink I heard Mercedez, none too nicely, yell "Bella already put her food away, that is NOT hers!". I raised my eyes, have you ever heard people speak with great conviction about things they know nothing about? I am all about cohesion and teamwork and getting along and support, yet I am very much NOT in favor of speaking when you know not what you say. When you are misinformed, when you did not see nor truly understand, but are moved to speak based on the word of someone else.

Mercedez walked through the kitchen, where Ryan was still eating and I was still standing, on her way to get her book bag. Behind her? Behind her was Bella who stopped at the table and picked up the bagel pieces to carry to the trash. "Is that your bagel??" I asked. Bella replied, "Yes." (She does it with eye-rolling and frustration seeping from her voice). Now, as a mom I took immediate notice. I let her go on her merry way, as she went and settled back in front of the fireplace.

All my kiddos were lined up to go to school, except the now returned Mercedez and Bella who should be sweating by now (still sitting on the hearth). I stopped and told Mercedez:

I am not "getting on to you" but I am lovingly telling you this so you do not make the same mistake in the future. It is perfectly fine to take up for someone, but not if you are misinformed. Bella waited until you went to your room to pick up the bagel on the table, the bagel that she said was hers. Bella allowed you to yell a lie. She allowed you to take up for her and I KNOW you were misinformed. But, if you did not see it? Especially if you are sitting beside her and she can answer....Let her talk for herself. You have to be very careful of the things you say. You have to be very careful of the person who said it. You have to guard that you are not pulled into a lie.

All my children listened, all understood. In my youth as a parent I never corrected "publicly". I felt tender esteems needed protection. Today? Today if it is a "public" issue, one that you have preformed in front of all? Then it is generally (there are exceptions) dealt with publicly(well in this case in front of nine siblings). This is in my opinion a life skill.

You (everyone) must not share information you do not KNOW is true. It happens all the time. It's called "lies and gossip". And it does not change if you are "gullible or believing"....it is still lies and gossip.... only then...you are truly responsible because you did not stop to check.

Over the weekend I was talking with my big girls. I am pretty sure that one of the leading causes/contributors to those who leave the church is indeed lies and gossip.

With that thought in mind...I stopped and had the conversation with Mercedez, sitting beside Isabella (and all my kids listening). We cannot allow lies and gossip into our homes. Well, if will likely make it's way there, but it better never go uncorrected!! We have to guard ourselves and we sure better be teaching those same safeguards to our children!

More and more blessings....

These ladies hosted the most beautiful tea today at our church for Chelsea. I cannot even begin to tell of all the beautiful gifts, of the seemingly endless hugs and all the sweet comments. We are so blessed with a loving church family!! I am not sure there are words to describe, I can only say they love CHelsea and it shows:)


She had special friends there:



She had family:


Her family to be, Bo's mom Renea and sister Carrie.


Lovely gifts (I am only including a picture of some of her China):

The benefits of a loving church family impacts your entire life!! We are so very blessed!

New Blessings...

Michael was baptized today. He and Scott had been studying for several weeks. Talks had taken place, questions been asked (and answered), even problem solving to see if he could apply his knowledge....and then came the understanding that Michael really was ready.

Scott stood with him and I so wish I had a video of the words he said. He talked about the providence of God (I sure did think of you B!!!). He told (after asking Michael to be sure he was okay with it) about Michael being born on the other side of the world, he talked about his journey and our lives being blessed through his adoption. He then told Michael this was the very last time he would ever be adopted, and the very most important time! We can see the very hand of God, we know that our lives have been blessed, forever changed by the sweetness of this redheaded freckled faced boy. Michael is going to be a great worker in God's kingdom. Today as Scott's voice broke and he had tears in his eyes I cried watching Michael follow his dad, watching as he looked up at Scott and tears filled his eyes. A super wonderful son we have and a tender hearted one at that. I hope he is always as tenderhearted and always as excited as he is today.

New blessings always make me smile:)

Happy Birthday DOUG:)

Today was Doug birthday:) His classed began this past week at FHU, but today he brought a friend home for lunch and we had his "party". We now have a volume "switch" on our rendition of "Happy Birthday", the birthday boy/girl chooses the sound level....soft, normal, loud or crazy.....Doug chose the last....and it was crazy deafening! haha...A great way to "ring" in the new year!!

How sweet it is......

Earlier this week Stuart took two of the boys with him to the store. The boys came running in, each bringing me a rose. Behind them, Stuart with the third rose. How very sweet it is to have wonderful examples. To me, this is extra personal, it was a respect, love and devotion to mom (I take those really personally). I blog all the time about my appreciation for my older children. I am so grateful for the example they set. And on days like this I am so thankful for the love Stuart taught his two little brothers!

I love you Stuart!!

Chocolate Gravy Recipe

This recipe would truly be good on just about anything, but we use it for biscuits:)

Ingredients:

1 cup sugar
2 Tablespoons flour
4 Tablespoons cocoa
2 teaspoons butter
1 cup of milk
1 teaspoon vanilla


In my pan(a heavy pan sure is a plus) I mix the flour, sugar, and cocoa with a whisk. I then add the milk and butter, cooking over medium heat. Whisk often to avoid sticking. When thick, remove from heat and add vanilla, mix well and serve.

I hope this works, I usually triple it and am (just terrible) to not look at the recipe and just shake ingredients at will. My kids don't seem to complain...lol:) The original recipe called for a cup of boiling water instead of milk, but I felt we had to have something of nutritional value in this "gravy".

Enjoy:)


PS. If you have left overs they can be added to about anything. This morning we were trying to finish the gravy I had in the fridge and trying to eat all our aging bananas. In the words of Ryan, "It's like healthy and not healthy all at one time!" Which is why this is one of our "treats" not a staple:)

Dollar Tree Treasures

The little kids and I went to the Dollar Tree tonight to find candy and to search out cheapo ideas for the Atoms. While there I found the neatest treasure! Bowls and Plates that match my kitchen. How very very neat!! The only not neat part was trying to get all those stickers off. We finally lined them all up and let them soak in water a while(making it so much easier to get off stickers!) before washing them and drying them. I think the kids were as excited as I was:)

Atoms...

I really do like science projects ....unless they are "I have to have it by tomorrow morning" and then I rarely find great motivation to help my wayward procrastinators. Mercedez and Rosie have a project due next Friday but in our craziness we did it early so they could take them on in tomorrow. I really like science projects when my kids KNOW what they are doing. Age sure does make a difference. The girls both knew what they wanted and could imagine (well, visualize) the end result. Neat girls!!

"I look gooood!"

We are getting fun wedding stuff in the mail daily (not really, but fairly often). The little boys tuxedos came yesterday. We got an incredible deal on eBay and tried Seth's on. We took a picture so Seth could see himself. His words? "I look goood!" haha:) And he did.

We are less than a month away....so very hard to believe!

kids say the darnest things......

It happens all the time ....the craziest things:) I really should just keep a pencil and notepad because I forget the really funny ones!!


Chelsea, Tasha, Tori and I were all sitting and makes lists of the things we had accomplished and the things still to do when Chelsea asked about the tradition below:

Something old
Something new
Something borrowed
Something blue......

We were all thinking of her "things"....something blue(garter) something new(dress)...and as we talked about the last too Rosie said from across the room: "Hey I know that riddle, but I can never remember the answer." Haha..that's what happens when the topic of the week at our house has been riddles:)

At dinner tonight we were eating chowder and chili. Daniel had the chowder and asked,"Is that tuna in the chowder?" Ryan piped up before anyone could reply, "Nah, that's chicken breaths!" Another said, "no you mean chicken broth" and I smiled, "Chicken BREAST"

Over the weekend I made chocolate gravy to go on the biscuits. One of the kids visiting was peering into the pot. He leaned over and was sniffing. I watched a minutes before saying, "That's chocolate gravy." He looked up a bit relieved and said, "really? I have never had that. I couldn't decide why your beef gravy smelled like chocolate."


In a long conversation with her daddy about her car Chelsea said, "Jacob said it's leaking transmission oil........" As Scott began to talk to her she laughed and said as he began, "First off, it's transmission FLUID......." It is always fun to listen to kids (even grown ones) talk about things they have heard others say...in this case, while Chelsea is very good to have her oil changed and service her car....she really isn't to up on the correct terminology:)

Sarah!

I had to laugh, or at very least smile. Sarah bought her Dad a shirt to match one Paden got last weekend. They both tried them on for a picture moment(Sarah and Paden's idea). Pretty Funny Picture. In the first picture they were so "puffed up" they looked like they were falling over...lol. This is a good one(of you like the gangsta look they have going on). Sarah has some very special guys in her life, and usually they are both laughing:)

excuses excuses

I had a daughter with me tonight who was having to write good behaviors. She apparently could not think of any and did not want to "talk" with me, so I wrote them down for her to write so she would perhaps remember them next time.

Said child did not want to talk, but she didn't want to write either(but she did). As she wrote I was fixing dinner. I sometimes get so tired of listening to the "bemoaning". I would like to bemoan too...lol...and mine are definitely better. To pass the time standing and stirring I began to write the things she said:

My hands are sweating.

I wondered why she thought this would provoke any remorse or sorrow on my part?

My back is hurting.

Again, I am sure it can't hurt as bad as mine...I have been standing, cooking and washing dishes for days and days!

I already had to do 200 write offs at school (for talking).

Funny isn't it? At school she will not stop talking so she has to do write offs. At home she refuses to talk and has to do write offs....this really is a smart child...even if it appears she isn't.

Why do I have to write so much?

I write 5 sentences she had to copy 5 times each. Hardly "too" much! Silly sentences like "I will respect my mother."

This is just saying the same thing.

Yep. Doing the right thing is redundant to me....I totally agree that they sounded very similar...respect, ownership...ya know the drill:)

I was being careful.

When she sat on one sister and fell on a brother?

Why doesn't ____ have to write, she lied.

Perhaps because when I asked a second time that sister 'fessed up whole heartily.

How come nobody else has to write this stuff?

?? Maybe because they are catching on??

I already wrote this.

Repetition is really a wonderful tool!

You said if I wrote all this I wouldn't have to talk to you.

Totally NOT what I said. I said the sentences would help her to understand the things she needed to do next time to redirect her behavior.


This isn't even helping.

What a depressing thought.

A a whole lot of "ugh and ohhh's" I did not count.

I have to watch not to smile at all the noises. I find the huffin and puffin kinda (a lot) silly. To me they are all part of "ownership" and if they are huffin and puffin they ain't got it yet!



The conversation and writing ending with me finally telling her she could just go on to bed. Scott and I were trying to eat dinner and she was whining. I stopped her and explained that because she refused to talk with mom about behaviors and how to change the course of events, she was grounded for the next month. She had to sit with mom at church (Sunday morning, Sunday night and Wed.night). I also told her that when she got to her room to remember that this was HER choice. Mom would have chosen an apology to the brother she hurt and respect to mom as I spoke to her...I expected the whole talk to last 5 minutes and for her to be at the girls youth group devotional with her sisters instead of home with me...that was MY choice. But, we did it her way. She sashayed away with a "I don't care" that was obviously a lie... I think the next years will be REALLY long for this daughter:)

Symphony time...

Dad and Clara Ruth asked Chelsea and Sarah to go with them to a symphony about a month ago. All plans were set when Sarah found out her classes start tonight. So late last night Chelsea had Jacob talked into going with her, well, very reluctantly going with her! He asked me if I have ever been to a "sympathy" before? lol:) Actually I have been to sympathy's and symphony's! Jacob was very very relieved that neat & nice "veteran of the arts" big brother Stuart stepped in to go with Chelsea. Even sweeter was his WILLINGNESS to go:) I just love my big kids!! Willingly or unwillingly they sure will do about anything for one another:)

words...

Criticals? Today I was talking to Zack's counselor by phone. In a meeting last week (that Scott attended) it was suggested, by some, that Zack was doing really well. Others maintained his need for further help. So his counselor sat down and documented all his behaviors(quite lengthy) in a behavioral report. While Zack has not had a critical since last October he has threatened physical harm to staff members 3 times. Scott's words (mirroring my thoughts) were, "And that is not considered a critical?". Nope, not until he actually DOES follow through.

We (Scott and I) are much more conservative on the safety side. If you use your words to imply a danger? We will take you at your word. I think of that song my children sang when they were small, be careful little mouth WHAT YOU SAY. It is so true!! No matter how big your mouth is!!

It has been suggested that Zack remain in RTC until March, while they are still looking for alternative placement. To Scott and I that is good news...it means he will continue to have the opportunity to learn skills he must have to be successful!

Ashes to Goodness

From the ashes a Phoenix arises and from difficult situations strength of character shines true.

This past week brought a difficult situation to our house(One only my biggies know about). But, as a mom (well truthfully just as a person!), I have seen some super neat behaviors from my "biggies".

I think among those has to be some real down to earth (right down from heaven) Biblical principles, the Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Goodness, Kindness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-control kind of attitudes that really have me step back and be proud. I would be proud to see this kind of restraint in ANYone.

Even as the topic is talked about, even as it is understood (and the only way to understand it to do so with wisdom), they still make me proud.

Mom's need to see the thought process. Mom's need to see faith in action. Mom's need to know that their children think clearly, with GOD and His mercy in mind.

We talked some today about WHY it is important as Christians to be angry over sin. And why it is equally as important to never let that anger (even justifiable) provoke us to sin in exchange.

There are so many things in this life to be thankful for....today? As I type I am thankful that even from the ashes truth and goodness can arise....when one so CHOOSES:)

Xi CHi Delta Officers Retreat

We have had the Xi Chi Officers here since early yesterday. What a great bunch of kids! Well, perhaps I should say "adults" or "young adults" or something that shows their age, but to me (a mom of "kids" older than them) ...well, they are still kids. Just really well behaved ones!

My bunch love having company. It was a really nice way to spend their day off too.

As I have said before and will probably say about a gazillion more times before I get this crew raised....I LOVE great examples!! Among this group were so many! We had lots and lots of fun playing with those great guys and girls:)

Phone conversations.

I realize that phone conversations can be very special. Yesterday morning Caleb called me and I talked to him for the first time since he left earlier this month. He called several times (my phone was still plugged into the charger in the bedroom) before Scott picked up. European phone numbers look crazy on the caller id:) I am finding myself just waiting for that kind of crazy! We talked for about 30 minutes. His first words were, "I wasn't going to leave a message, so I just kept calling back." I was so very sad last time I missed his call and this time it made me nearly cry (the good kind) that he was so thoughtful to keep trying. He is doing so well. Loving the exploration of this beautiful world. I am so proud of Caleb and so grateful for him:)

Along with the special phone conversations can come the not so special ones. That sounds awful, but each and every reader knows exactly what I am talking about! That call you just really really really don't want to answer. We have had three of those people this week. Carlton, Zack and my sister Christie all making calls (Christie 3 or 4 times a day). I think the common denominator in those calls has to be selfishness. All three only concerned about self. All three "wanting" something. All three leaving you very tired as you finish a conversation. Just one very enjoyable. I always wonder if they enjoy it?

When you talk to people who SHARE information, who SHARE their lives, it is nice. Caleb and I talked about all kinds of things, but I had to pull him back to "self" issues(which momma wanted to know). With my three tough callers it is only what they want to talk about...themselves.

I sincerely hope I'm never the caller that people don't want to talk to.....how depressing that would be! It always comes back to choice....CHOOSE to be a great friend/parent/child/person!!

Getting Closer.........

Just THIRTY-FOUR more days........ Until they are together forever:)

Mud and Boys

I am not sure what it is about mud that appeals to boys so much. Even more I am not sure what it is that makes boys thing they can conquer mud. Mud is the epitome of slippery, slidey, and gooey. Today Jacob drove to the back of the field and got Scott's truck stuck. Then he sat in the house with Michael (who loves and mirrors Jake) and wondered WHY he was stuck?!

Stuart tried to help, but only accomplished moving lots of mud from the ground to his truck. So Jacob called his friend Andrew, who has mud tires, to come and help. Andrew and his little mud tires drug the truck out of the field, thankfully. Now Scott's truck looks a lot like this:

It's gonna take a whole lot of quarters at the carwash to get this truck clean!!

All good things....

All good things must come to an end...or so people say. I wonder? For sure the fun of EU and the fellowship of the PTC youth group has ended. They are headed back to GA. I think (know) they all would have liked to take Chelsea with them:)

I am so thankful for Bo, so thankful for the wonderful church family he worships with. It was really great to be able to spend the weekend with some incredible young people who will become such an important part of Chelsea's life!

Hard-Headed

I have some hard-headed kids. I usually count that as a great blessing. To me it means anything they do will be TOTALLY their responsibility...no one will talk these hard headed kids into "doing" something wrong, they only "do" what they want!

So as parents it is truly our objective to teach them. It is our responsibility to help them see the reason why doing the right thing is right...and instilling in them the desire to do right without being led astray. Those hard-headed kids, properly directed are truly incredible forces to be reckoned with (in an awesome way). Yesterday I was talking to Chelsea about a subject that I am not going to repeat (as I would like offend some reader), but she said something I loved. Chelsea said, "It is better to be able to say "I never did that" than to say, "Yeah, I went but I only watched"." Chelsea went on to say, " Because the only reason anyone wants to go is to know whats going on...and if you wait until next week everyone in the whole school will know ...and you will realize you probably didn't want to see that anyway." Hard-headed. Chelsea has always been sweet and easy, but she is about as hard-headed as they come. But thankfully hers is beautifully directed! THAT is the sweetness of a hard-headed kid.

Yesterday I experienced the yucky hard-headed kid (mine of course). I have a daughter who was disrespectful to me last week. So what that she felt she was totally right and that the situation was not her fault. When I asked her to help, she refused (verbally and bodily). When I talked about personal responsibility that is involved in "borrowing" from someone (in this case a brother) she talked back. That attitude continued. I finally stopped myself and simply told her that she would not go to EU if she did not apologize to ME for her disrespect to ME. Later in talking to Scott we agreed...of all the things our kids do...the "make it right" attitude is a must. SO many times you can not put all back...but you can do your best to make is right. Usually, seemingly always, our words are the way we make that happen.

All week.....no apology. Scott talked to the middle school kids a few mornings ago in the way to school about winning the battle but losing the war. He gave examples and tried to direct my hardheaded one to doing the right thing. nope.

So yesterday as EU approached I walked into her room and asked if she had any words she needed to share? nope. I talked to her about what happened last week, she even admitted she was disrespectful to mom. Did she want to apologize? nope. I questioned her, was she really willing to give up EU over pride? yep. She really wasn't going to say "I'm sorry mom". nope. hummmmmm. I often wonder if my kids might be brain dead (as Bill Cosby jokes) and not simply hardheaded?? But, that hardheadedness comes from me, so with that in mind. I changed the flow of the conversation. I explained that it was totally fine for her to choose to not apologize. But there were consequences for not doing so. No EU....AND... until Spring break....NO phone privileges, no computer privileges, no ball games, no nothing extra and NO youth group activities(for real, if you are so prideful you will forfeit EU you don't need to be at anything). Each choice comes with consequences. And this hardheaded mom will not be manipulated or disrespected without consequences. To me...each battle that deals with respect? EACH one is a war. If I do not win, my children will lose. Lose respect for others (and with that respect for self)....that is not really an option for me.

With the new consequences came a widening of the eyes and a "I am sorry". That same child loves EU and is having a great time.

I think my momma would have said she was "cutting off her nose to spite her face". Self destructive behaviors. I did follow that apology with a new rule....when a "wrong" is committed, and an apology is in order, she has 24 hours to make it right or the immediate consequence will be grounding for a month. I am so very serious about respect. And I PLAN to have this dear daughter as hard-headed as her big sister, and equally beautifully directed:)

EU is here!

Evangelism University is here. Our "kids" (actually Bo's youth group from Peachtree City) are here.

There is really no reason to freak out cleaning. Until the day of there is very little reason to try to work on the serious cleaning. Yesterday morning Jacob carried off trash (as my cans were over flowing) and I smiled as I clicked this shot of Seth trying to throw the bag over in the truck bed...something he has watched by brothers do time and time again. I love that Ryan was paying attention and gave that big bag an extra "boost". Everyone arrived home after school and as I talked to the kids about cleaning up and passed our chore sheets we quickly were in panic. Tasha in cleaning hit a pipe under the sink in the girls bathroom. (not hard, but triggering an already unapparent but now apparent issue). A HUGE water leak...water was everywhere! Chelsea was yelling for every ones dirty towels, Stuart was turning off the water at the street and Scott was on his way home. 30 minutes later the MOST WONDERFUL repair man in the world (because he saved us seriously!) arrived and fixed it all up. So what if we now have a big hole in the bathroom cabinet...we DO have water. A slightly serious thing:)

PTC arrived, What GREAT kids! The girls quickly began asking about the wedding. I think they (and Bo and Chelsea) are all ready for her to be in Peachtree City with each other! I took this picture.....

They wanted to see Chelsea's dress and Chelsea had them gather around to look at the pictures I took (just yesterday during her fitting). Only a few family members have seen the dress, like maybe 4 people. Those girls were so excited to be "pulled in" and to share that moment. Giggling and laughter and ohhhhs and ahhhhs....My daughter will be a wonderful helpmate to Bo. She loves loves loves those kids...she and Bo certainly have their hearts where they need to be! What a blessing!!

And of course I took this of everyone as they walked out the door:)


And my kiddos...good grief it's hard to beleive they are all big enough to be off at EU!! They sure are having fun!!

The days are moving on...

The days are kinda snowballing.... 37 days until "we're going to the chapel"! Above is sweet Anna Kate one of Chelsea's flower girls. The little girls are so excited, and the big girls too:)

We seem to be spread pretty thin trying to get everything together. The last few days have been so very long and very very busy. I think it is compounded slightly by the planning for EU this weekend too. Groceries are all bought and the house is not nearly ready but getting closer by the hour! We are very excited to meet Bo's youth group and so very thankful to be able to have our Madison kids all here to eat with us Saturday evening. So many wonderful blessings:)