A loss with hope...

Tonight Seth little All Stars team lost, but even with the loss there is still hope. The tournament is double elimination and should they win their game tomorrow night they will go the the State Tournament:) So, time will tell. In fact less than 24 hours from now we will now. Hoping for a nice win tomorrow!!

A few action shots:) The first three are of a great catch. It looked like an easy catch until Seth realized he was not close enough....so he dove....and caught it!




These were just neat...I think picture number 4 in the sequence has Seth "this is serious" face....it is seen pretty often on the field!

Seriously Jacob?

I woke this morning and walked into the living room to see a car at my door. Inches from the house and way too close to my flowers! Why would he do this? "Mom there was a chance of rain"...which also equates to "I didn't want to put the top on".
It was a little funny until I had to go to the Post Office!!

Riding with mom...

I had three girls with me yesterday because they "earned" the privilege. Much like Zackery earning another step down in his moving up process....it seems backward. How is moving down actually moving up? :) For my girls the earning was a movement down instead of up...but earned none the less. Years ago our counselor stated that children do not "loose" privileges they "earn" the appropriate consequence. I am not opposed to saying "you lost the privilege of ______ by your bad behavior" but the counselor felt the negative of "loss" should not be in that sentence. He felt it should be like this "I am sorry you earned the privilege of going to Memphis with mom due to your behavior." Much less "sting". Either way, my trio of girls all individually earned the ride with mom. That ride, 6 hours in the car round trip and an hour and 45 minutes waiting(aka sitting in one spot) was not a nicely earned privilege. They all missed the Tuesday's Together at church with the youth group and missed swimming for the day.

I will not go into the "reasons" they earned the ride with mom, it is safe to say it just boils down to one word RESPECT. The picture above I took of one of the trio...this one was laying in the floor in defiance. Seriously. I picked up my camera and as I began to take the picture she jumped up to move. Which means, despite her "I wasn't doing anything wrong laying in the floor" she knows it isn't age appropriate or her body would not have moved so quickly. Her words to me where still disrespectful when she said, "You can't take a picture of me without MY permission!" I kindly explained that I was the mother and if I needed to take a picture to show her how ridiculous her behavior was...I could. She said, still mouthing, "So you mean when I'm a mom I can do whatever I want?!" I smiled and said "You sure can, whatever you want". I can say that and mom's everywhere laugh with me...what mom gets to do "whatever she wants"? She said, "And you won't be able to tell me what to do when I'm a mother?" I smiled again at her stab at disrespect telling her "I wouldn't dream of telling you what to do when you are a mom!"

I am often surprised, truly surprised, that my children don't live life to the fullest. The "fullest" being a life spent enjoying the privileges of a life spent in respect. The quality of life is increased when people are respectful and have a servants heart. It isn't an algebraic equation...it doesn't take a genius to figure it out. I even break it down and make it very very simple.

I told a different teenager last week that I would not "make them" do anything, they could choose whatever they wanted. Choose the consequence. Either way the only person who is negatively impacted is THEM. Choice is a privilege too. Although in truth, I always think of God as my goofy kiddos push limits. God SO GETS the feelings I have of frustration. God UNDERSTANDS the desire to "fix" crazy kids lives. I am not perfect (not like my Lord), but I know if I could choose for my children they sure would come out ahead!

Instead, I spend a lot of time asking God to share some of that patience with me, to allow me to guide them even as they make terrible choice. I also ask God to soften the heart and souls of my children so they, when they fail, can SEE that outcome and never be to proud to back up and try a different road. God is the only person whom I can truly say "He always knows how I am feeling and He understands my desire and love for my children."! This is one sentence where "always" is not a thinking error:) It's true!

Zack

We had a CFTM with Zackery yesterday. Big decisions were made. It was time. Rosie, Tasha and Bella went with me. They sat and visited with Zack for a long while before our meeting. Well, they sat and listened to Zack. Zack, sadly, is just about Zack with no real regard for others. He rarely asks how anyone else is doing unless prompted. And then is sounds like this "How is dad? Do you think you can bring me some more markers and paper?"

Zack does have some strengths (everyone does!). He created this neat car above. All with glue and paper. Zack has a wonderful art perspective. On the flip side the needs are great, very great.

I am not sure I will blog about the day, not at length, not soon. There are some losses that come hard, but personally it is the loss of hope and dreams that are the hardest to swallow. The thought that all that can be done is simply not enough. The knowledge that there is a plan in place that is not my own. Life.

peas

These two are like two peas in a pod. While I realize there are usually more than two peas in a pod...I am pretty sure these two are PLENTY:) Barely a year apart they were thick at thieves at the games last night. I stood with the mom of the sweet faced child pictured with Bella and we decided the best name for this picture is "Gossip". They are a mess. I am pretty sure I did not need to hear all they said, I managed to hear enough to have a couple of 'pull you back to reality' conversations with my Bella while sitting near them.

Some would say that personalities are genetic. I would agree. Some would go on to state and give excuses for those same "genetic" behaviors. At that point I come to a screeching halt. God gave us CHOICE. There is no way a personality trait would come between me and my freewill. Granted I might have to really guard against those weaknesses in a very intentional way! I read this article about "Guarding your Gates" As a mom I am constantly spending time working to help my children "build good gates". It is hard in this world. It is hard because we all have our "stuff" to work on....but to deny our ability to be as we wish? BIG TIME thinking errors!

Proverbs 4:23
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

A HUGE win:)

After an hour delay and a long wait Seth's team played tonight FINALLY in their first game of the tournament....a very BIG win at 22-0! Obviously we played very well and the other team (Michie) struggled. Seth went to bed a very very happy little boy!



I did not get any great game pictures (pictures after dark just aren't that great), but I did catch these two that I LOVED! Seth and his neat wonderful daddy:)

John John John!!!

John spent the past week in Orlando at the HOSA National Championship. John competed and so very much enjoyed the speakers and the experience. I laughed as he texted me the other night:

John: Mom, I just heard the most incredible speaker of my life!
mom: Really? Great! What was his name?
John: LOL...I don't remember. I can ask.

And he did ask:) A good thing to know. While he really enjoyed the HOSE experience he also had lots of fun a Disney. His faithful leader, Karen Long, park hopped and showed John things he had never seen! Karen is a wonderfully compassionate woman. She leads with her kind and supportive words. John thinks the world of her!! I am thankful for the example she give the children she teaches!

John rolled in last night as church was letting out, Scott picked him up and brought him home. It has been awfully quiet without my John!

John missed Scott's birthday and brought him a BIG coffee cup:)

He also brought me a Minnie Mouse:)

The highs and lows

Family. The word alone evokes great emotion for most. Those who have it cherish it. Those who don't desire it. Those who have turmoil in their family bemoan it. Those who have joy findit magnified 100 fold. Family.

I read about a family. A family I have never meet and likely never will (unless I happen to meet them in my dreams....like one of my dear almost did). I have followed the story, actually the life, of Nie for a very long time now. I read the very entertaining words of her sister CJane. I watch that family struggle, I watch them shine, I watch the joys and I watch the sorrow. This morning I read about Nie's birthday and hospital stay, I read about hairbows, babies and a new baby on the way. I would like to think they are unique to this world, and in many ways they are... Yet. Each family has their "stories", each family I meet will have joys and hardship, silly and crazy. Such is life. Always!

I blog and I enjoy having the "history" of it recorded. I enjoy printing the blog and having the funny parts of my crazy life to "see". My family is unique, but no more so that the next family! What I live is just part of the same life we all live, often the same struggles and same concerns.I my goofy wonderful family tree! Every family tree has the monkeys, the cute koala bears, the graceful birds, the nutty squirrels, the wise owls and sadly even at times the termites:) I think more than anything it is our ability to "see" those in the tree that makes our lives what we "want them to be"! We really need that ablity so we can live peaceably without chopping off their branches:)

This morning Scott was talking to him mom while I was "porch sitting" with him. He made this comment, "People are much more important that flowers and gardens. But sometimes you have to have the flowers and gardens so you can deal with the people." It reminded me of Cindy Bodie and her ever garden-loving heart. Every person has to have thier "time", mine is usually spent here, but to each thier own:) We all live with our family trees. Some trees more sizable than others, but each tree is subject to the same invasions, each tree has to be cared for.

As I begin this crazy week...and the tasks before me are CRAZY! I am thankful for my family tree(nuts, monkeys,graceful,cute and wise). I am thankful for my orchard (which is full of my extended family). Life is good and life is always what you make of it!

Mercedez is off:)

I took Mercedez at 6:30 this morning to meet her squad to pack and leave for camp. She was up and waiting on the couch for me when I walked through the house this morning. A big sign of "growing up". I love seeing those skills, the ability to schedule and prepare. She packed her bags all by herself. As I asked the "do you have...." well, "do you have....." how about "do you have....." She did, she had it all:)

Mercedez and I took some time this morning talking about problem solving and attitude and plain old "being nice". I told her while her sister made a comment that cheerleaders were "yappy"...the bottom line is simple....GIRLS are yappy (no matter where they are!). We talked positively about being who we CHOOSE to be.


I cannot say enough good things about her team sponsor. Ms. Herrington is as fine a lady as they come. She has such a beautiful Christian spirit! Her preacher came out while we were standing around this morning and asked to lead a prayer on behalf of the girls. I LOVE living in a small town. I sat on the porch talking with Scott after I returned home and said, "I love living here. Even if someone had a problem with the prayer, no one said anything. All gathered around and all held hands and all were blessed by well spoken words." Scott said and it really is true of our community, "Most people do believe in God, they just don't practice it everyday." I KNOW there are places in this world where a Christian cannot live freely. I know there is persecution and hardship that comes to some for simply obeying the Lord. But, today, right now, it is NOT in the place I live. I am ever so thankful!!

I drove away thins morning anxiously looking forward to the conversation coming on Thursday when I hear all about the week:)

PS...Isn't this quote neat? This was on the back of the girls team T-shirts today as they left...very nice thought to begin the week on!

Propaganda and Perspective

I have not said much about our church camp (lol...well only good things). It was a very hard week for me personally. For many years I have had Plantar Fasciits and really have a hard time being on my feet for extended periods of time. I planned on my feet hurting, and was not disappointed, they did. The work in the kitchen was very hard and was very time consuming. And it was extremely hot because there was no air conditioning. It was the pits (haha...literally and emotionally).

I arrived home and Scott let me go to bed (as most campers probably did). When I woke up though the week I had some numbness in my hands but it quickly left as I became busy. On Saturday morning my hands were numb to my elbows. I decided a trip to the Dr was in order. I actually was thinking I was having a stroke or was diabetic or something equally serious. I prayed on the way that I would not be seriously ill, and if I were? I prayed for my attitude and behavior to be what I needed it to be. Twenty minutes later I realized my prayers were answered. I was not dying. I actually am fine, with the exception of Acute Carpal Tunnel, which I have never had before. Now I am going to live, and that is a huge thing:) But I find myself seriously needing the second part of that prayer (the part about attitude). I doubt driving to Knoxville and Memphis would be considered "resting" this week. I doubt anything I do in my daily life is considered "resting" ....lol....certianly NOT blogging.

As I listened to the propaganda about camp. As I have looked at so many wonderful pictures I realize how quickly those negative feeling have slipped away (haha..not enough to ever do it again, well, not at the same place!). No matter what the circumstances, the Lord WILL use our efforts and our work to His Glory. The week, in spite of so may circumstances was a big success and will be remembered as such.

I consistently "preach" perspective and have had lots of time with my numb yucky hands to think about the what ifs! I am able to do what I need to do. I am not really sick. My kids have no clue I am "injured" and I have no desire to whine about it. So this is my vent....and then I shall be done! The outcome could have been very different! I am thankful:)

Perspective is a wonderful thing....wonderfully good and wonderful not so good:) Either way? It always makes it's point!

cancelled again!

For the second night in a row Seth has gotten dressed only to have ball games cancelled due to storms. Those old storms roll in just about the time games should begin! Each night Seth has fallen apart. Tonight Scott told him "I'm pretty sure this is not how an All-Star player acts when a game is cancelled." Seth pulled himself together and actually took these pictures for me:) Well, he took them for Caleb who called today and wished him well. Seth has, for years, had the number 21 (which was Caleb's). When asked what number he wanted for All Stars he surprised both Scott and I by quickly saying "8". Hummm...8 is the number:) He's growing up, finding himself and making his "place". lol...It happens!





So for tonight we are all headed to the movies to see Karate Kid:)

External/Thinking/Outside Brains

We have a "rebellious" son {age 4}. We have not let up on our discipline/training--although their are days where it is absolutely exhausting.

This was from one of my neat "reader friends". I have to say (after dealing with my kiddos that are rebellious too) that there is nothing that makes a more profound impact that consistency! Our son Zack, who has some big losses, was in RTC for 18 months before making it to the very first level (on a behavior scale). The important thing? That he made it. I could have told them that it would take 300 times of correction to get through to him. LOTS of repetition. Repetition is hard on mommas, but c'est la vie! Such is life today and likely always!

I do think in the early years I was saved by incorporating "outside brains" or "thinking brains" for my two who needed it so much! Over the years that process, that understanding has peppered and seasoned parenting for us. It has also helped to bring ownership to our family...ownership as in "this is my family, my siblings, therefore they are mine" Ownership to peace, ownership to love, ownership to co-operation....ownership is HUGE! It can be a wonderful and neat tool such as this example.

Today, with my trio not home the outside/thinking/external brain process is still alive and well. It's in the question, "Did mom say you could do that?" or the "We aren't suppose to have our drinks in the living room" ....we ALL need those questions from time to time, simple redirection. It really is a useful tool:)

Three cities and Three days....

I went to Knoxville, Sarah and Paden took my "braces" to Atlanta (getting a fun visit with Chelsea and Bo!), and then I headed to Memphis on Thursday morning for a 9am meeting. I then had a 6 hour visit with Zack. I did talk Zack into cutting his hair some (and didn't take my camera to get a picture!). We shopped a little, looking for shoes with no luck, then we ate at Captain D's before going to see Karate Kid (Zack's desire to see). It was a good visit. There has been a foster family identified (a therapeutic home in the Youth Village system) and visit might begin next week. We have been supported by staff (who work with Zack) on keeping to a step down program. Although as we talked about it in family therapy this week the worker pulled me aside later to tell me "I think Zack could do very well in a foster home until he turns 18." She had given hints and clues and even come out and just said that home is likely not a good place for Zack. I appreciate the understanding. It still doesn't make any of our choices any easier.

A trip to Knoxville

Monday I headed east with three kiddos to stay the night and be at the RTC on Tuesday morning to see Samuel. Sam and I had a family session and then we have a 6 hour pass. The kids all swam at the motel, we watched South Africa play France, and we saw the movie Toy Story. We also stopped and bought Sam steel toed boots for his voc.

I wish had redeeming news of Sam's progress, but do not. I did have a heavy talk with him. The one in which I lay out the consequences of continued non-compliance and behavior modification. It is only fair that he understand. We are quickly approaching the end of "help". We are three RTC's deep (3 GOOD RTC's) and still struggling. It's a sad thing.

Happy Birthday Scott!

Tuesday was Scott's birthday. I was in Knoxville and not home until late, so we celebrated on Wednesday night before church.

I did smile at this picture...the candles are arranged a little bit backwards! lol

YEAH! I am alive!

Well, I am slightly exaggerating about the near death without my blog. Slightly:)

Scott took my very sick computer to the geek squad who pronounced it death, but it could be revived after a lengthy lobotomy. So it will now be the children's computer and I have my own (well, kinda my own, I will share will "smart" users). Scott got it all set up today....just in time for the first All-Stars ballgame tonight. I had blogs in my head and on paper I will need to catch-up on...they will come soon!

For now I am just so very happy to be online:)

:(

My computer is very very sick...I am not sure it will make it:( So, I am typing from Scott's computer. MUCH is going on...haha...meaning "all is normal on the home front". I will catch up when I have a computer to sit down and type on (and that will read my pictures). I am one of those people who likes pictures with my words!

Until later! Pray that it is sooner than later (I might forget all the good stuff!).

Happy Father's Day Scott:)

I grew up with a dad(whom I love dearly) that always said on Mother's Day "She's not my mother so I don't have to get her a gift" when talking about the mother of his children. A very true statement (the not my mother part). For me? This day is special. This day is about honor to my helpmate, my friend and my husband....and yes, he also happens to be the father of my children. I could not be more appreciative of thankful! Scott is a wonderful father, he is a blessing to the lives of our children and to me!

Happy Father's Day Scott!! I love you:)

Doug's flipping school...

Doug is on a teaching roll with my swimming kids:) They love having him at the pool! Today he spent a few hours teaching back and front flips. Most all have both down pat...how cool is that?

I've said it before and I will say it a whole bunch more before I get these kiddos grown....it always rings so very true!!

I LOVE the BIG BROTHERS:)

Thanks Doug!!

Home from camp:)

There's no place like home, There's no place like home, There's no place like home:)

It's true. Home sure was sweet! Many many memories were made. Many new friends and much loved time with old friends. As some wise person said, "All good things must come to an end". I think it should be said, " All fun should continue even when reality sets in!". I hope the fun times and the laughter continues:)

A few pictures of the week: