Worst day of your life?

I have had a lot of days in my lifetime, 16,280 days to be exact. Many have been hard. Today is one of the worst. I have lost loved ones, those who have died and it is not as bad as today. How can I count them as "bad" when my loved ones are in Heaven? Those are tough to let go days, but days to rejoice the gift of life and the salvation we have in Jesus!

The hard ones to me? The day when poor choices are given free rein. Those days are bad. I truly believe these scriptures:


I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
-Philippians 4:13

And looking at them Jesus said to them, "With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
-Matthew 19:26

But, what happens when the one I am concerned about has no regard for God? When indifference and this world separates them? I know that with God I can do all things, I know that with God all things are possible, so I have confidence that God will take care of me and God will lead me where I need to be. But, what about that person who is running away from God? To me that makes for one of the worst days of my life.

We took these pictures this morning. I am struck by the knowledge that we were not "trying" to be sad, but after I loaded them to the computer I realized the feelings of all those "concerned" is written on the faces, and the one who should be concerned? No regard. No concerns. All smiles.

I cannot fully elaborate on the blog, I can only say that this is a very sad day.

Changing hearts?

I had a mom ask how you change attitudes, hearts, opinions of children with low self-esteem? I wish I knew!! As mom's we want to fix everything...I think it goes with the job description. I am not so interested in changing personalities (that's what make my kids so unique!!), but attitudes that lead to negative life choices? They are the focus, always!

I know we need to spend our time trying to strengthen relationships. I LOVE communication. I am a talker. I would like to think I'm a listener too. I find the toughest kids, for me personally, are those who have trouble expressing their feelings. I want my children to be able to talk to me. I have told them (and it is NO secret) that I make LOTS of mistakes. But, if I am aware? If I know it offends? I will do my very best to change. I seemingly have a couple would rather lament in private about all my shortcomings and not try to seek change. Isn't that irritating?

Who doesn't want a better life? Who doesn't want positive things in their life? Who doesn't want to be happy? Well, believe it or not...some people CHOOSE to be bitter, sad and unhappy. THAT makes me sad for them. I realize that they have great power in their lives, the power to live as they choose, but they choose badly!

My sweet friend Jill posted this today....

I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude.

Choices ARE available, the ability to make adjustments. But, for Kelly? I think sometimes our children are seriously handicapped by early childhood (well, negative early childhood events). In those cases? Counseling. Help. I do have some situations where children talk. In those cases, we are sometimes able to talk through thinking errors (like I'm the bad kid). I think those situations are wonderful. But, if you can't find that opening? Seek a third party with resources that are simply above and beyond. We have an incredible therapist who works so well with our family and it's strengths and weaknesses. Has he been able to help every child we take to him? Nah. Why not? That same of thing that make changes possible...CHOICE!

You have to want to change (no matter the age!)!!

Tasha's new room

Well, it's not entirely new...we have been "in" since the first of January. I took the pictures with my phone. Of course that means the quality is not so great, but I was thinking about it and decided I better just do it. Last night I spent an hour talking to Caleb and he asked what changes had happened at the house. I started to say none, but remembered this room.

A great move for Tasha! She is now on the big girls end (with Sarah, Mercedez and Rosie). Tasha was the last person to move making everyone in the house have their own room! It really is cute. I found her red sleigh bed at an antique store in town for $30. Her dresser came from another thrift store for $60. A cheap do-over:)



For Caleb.....you might notice the picture frame on the corner of the dresser? Some soldier Tasha loves a whole lot! :) Hey, I'm not kidding much...Justin Beiber got the inside of the closet door!

Loving ME!

I sit through session after session with Sam. I have talk after talk with my children. I encourage and fight equally for what is right. In thier lives there IS a "right". A right path, a road to travel, a place to be, a specific destination. Even more important is my desire that they understand that the
path, road, place and destination begins with them. They have to love themselves....FIRST!! I am not talking about selfishness. I am not talking about self-centeredness. I'm talking about balance. In this world, the perfect counterweight to sin is love. Loving who I am, my children loving who they are? The first stone of the scale. I want my children to understand that perfection is not attainable and perfection is subject to many interpretations; perfect to me is not perfect to you. But, there is a right way! Good behavior? Following the rules? Obeying the law? All things we should always have in mind, always desire to achieve. We all need to desire the positive, the good in this life. We need to go beyond wishing and hoping and we need to all feed the dream! We need to feed it, bank on it, plan on it and KNOW that with our work we can achieve that dream. We need to encourage the strong, beautiful, healthy side of ourselves. The Native Americans have a story about two wolves...you can read here.... Those two sides, spirits, desires live in each of us. The side we feed is the side that will grow. If I love myself I will feed what is GOOD for me, GOOD for my future, GOOD for my family, GOOD for my world and especially for GOOD for my Lord, for my very soul.

It seems so very easy. It seems so very simple. But the dark side (and I am not quoting Star Wars ...although what a PERFECT example!) is always going to have its pull. We simply must hold true to those things we know are good, withstand the temptation and consider those moments a time of testing that brings us maturity.

It all begins with loving myself enough to care about my life, my future and my eternity!

Homework

It should come as no surprise that I hate homework. Never did when it was mine and still don't today (when it belongs to all my kids). I love projects and writing and crafts, you know, all the fun stuff!

Today Sam was working on his "homework" for his in home therapist. A paper on his career choice. I asked what he wanted to do? He said construction. We talked about how to write the paper, what parts to explain and then he said, "How do you spell constructions?.....how do you spell follow? ......how do you spell report card?......how do you spell every other word in my paper? I very much understand the "why" of the paper. I do. But Sam is simply not capable of doing it. I can help him. I can explain that construction can be on houses, apartments, office buildings, malls, theaters....on and on...and he can copy it all down without being able to form those conclusions himself. After about the 10th question Seth, who was doing his homework beside us, began explaining to Sam what things you needed to be a good worker (and Sam wrote it all down).

Did Sam benefit from the exercise? nah. Except perhaps next time he will spell follow not foller. I appreciate those who work with Sam, I do. But, sadly Sam is so very far below "grade average" and what might work for most do not work for Sam. Which is why we have problems to begin with:(

Snow Day

We have had some serious snow days this year. Today we had another one! Maybe the first time we have had snow on the ground and puddles in the driveway! Sarah said all the snow landed on her car only. She actually had to work today and sadly was up and gone early!

This snow was not "fun play in snow", it was wet messy cold stuff. My bunch once again trapped inside. Ryan and the boys spent long hours playing with Domino's.


The kids all wrote Valentine cards to Caleb:)



And they spent way to much time starting illegal games of tag, chase, hide and seek and aggravating others. In this case this is the "what happens when you aggravate a big brother" picture. Tasha is tough, not as tough as Jacob but she sure can hold her own....until he finally says enough (as you see). I love that Tasha always laughs, she gives as good and she receives, a very rare trait!

One step ahead!

Seth loves competition. When Doug is home he lets Seth work out with him and Seth loves it! When Jacob has time (or doesn't mind the pain) he and Seth have competitions with chin-ups and push-ups. Jacob stays just one step (one "up") ahead. Tonight Seth did 44 push-ups and Jacob did 45:) Yesterday Jacob admitted to making Seth laugh so he would lose position and Jacob could win. It is not at all surprising that my youngest of 13 boys son would have a bit hard-headedness in his blood! :)

Readers!

I have a handful of great readers. In those children the grades are higher as well as knowledge and understanding. Reading truly opens the world to new thoughts and ideas. While I have had some great readers I rarely have readers like Rosie:) I took this today of Rosie....reading the dictionary....for longer than 20 minutes! lol:)

I laugh, but her vocabulary sure does show. After blowing out cake the other day Doug was telling some tale and Tasha who was sitting across from him said, "You're talking with your hands". Rosie, who was sitting at the table too, said, "He's gesturing." I smiled and watched both Doug and Tasha say "What?!" She defined it for them and never broke a smile. I love that! I do have quirky kids and in Rosie? That quirkiness will give her an edge (lol...certainly with words) that the others do not. Kind of a "reap what you sow" gift!

Love these quotes about readers:

“The greatest gift is a passion for reading. It is cheap, it consoles, it distracts, it excites, it gives you knowledge of the world and experience of a wide kind. It is a moral illumination.” Elizabeth Hardwick

“Reading is a basic tool in the living of a good life.” Joseph Addison

“You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them.” Ray Bradbury

Busy weekend

There are common pictures in my mind after weekends like this one. Pictures I take and really don't have a whole blog thought of but they are very much the story of our lives:)

Some things are normal pictures.....

Like John reading....


Jacob working......


This? Not normal!! Mercedez taught Seth a few cheers...the competitiveness in him went to work and he was hilarious, but pretty good at the same time!


Sarah and Lita on the way to basketball practice. Scott and Sarah are coaching Seth's Jr Pro team.


Mercedez as she was about to leave for her basketball game. Actually a make-up game:)


Tasha posing for a picture? Seeming to become VERY common!


And taking turns at the computer? Again, a very common picture of one tiny part of our day:)

FUN family!!

My little kids (haha..someday I will have to stop calling them that because they are very little)love to see these two special people coming our way! Hannah makes the most wonderful cookies!! We all eat way too many and enjoy them a bit too much! Hannah and Stuart arrived Saturday evening with all the ingredients to make cookies and movies for the kids to watch on the big screen. Lots and lots of fun!



After the kids were in bed Hannah played for me (I can tell you in words how beautifully she sings and plays!!). She and Stuart singing songs and gracously repeacting htem for me when I asked for a repeat for Scott and then John. John sat with us and sang too! So much fun!!!



They went to church with us this morning and played this afternoon:) They stayed until after church, a big visit and lots of fun. Always leaves us anxious for the next visit!

Happy 20th Birthday Doug!!

Happy Birthday Doug:) Today is Doug's birthday but he and his friend Nolan came home yesterday to celebrate with us. We had cake and ice cream and then they all played some ball. Sarah humbling the boys just a little bit:) Sarah won two games and Nolan and Doug each one.

I so very much love watching my children grow up. Physically Doug has likely grow up all he's going to, but this young son of mine has grown up more spiritually and emotionally than words can say. I am so very proud of him and knowing Doug, this year will be a great one!

Green grass

"It's like looking for green grass in a desert!"
John Smotherman

Green grass is a beautiful thing. I know when we were taking our family picture with Starla she showed me the proofs and clicked a button that she called "beautify" and all of a sudden the grass was greener and the whites whiter...I agree with the name, it was more beautiful, more eye pleasing. But, the reality was regular old grass and some arrays of whites. It was a GOOD reality.

I have children, currently one in particular, who thinks green grass is a "location". It's not. It's not a real button we can push. My facebook status today was:

"The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind."

Goodness that's true!! If you are the person who CHOOSES your outlook, who chooses the way you spin your day, who chooses the way you react? Then you will find that quote uplifting. IF you are a grass is always greener somewhere else person? It is not encouraging, actually would be a very discouraging quote.

Green grass IS a state of mind!! Green grass is green when nurtured, nurtured by YOU and cared for by you....meaning under your own feet!! We can run to and fro, we can search high and low...and never find the beauty of life. Life is beautiful when we stop, work on it and see the beauty around us!

My NEW lens arrived!!

I feel somewhat like I have a brand new lease on life...lol...a picture taking lease!
My new lens arrived yesterday and my very first new picture was of this sweet sister of mine! Sandy slid in between my meetings yesterday and brought Chance and Cooper. We all lunched at the boys favorite place, McDonald's:)



Last night I took this of my kiddos...apples to apples...the game was sweetly gifted to us from Chelsea, Bo and the PTC kids. What fun!

This picture was of Mercedez as she left for the Football Banquet:) What a sweet girl!

The way it looks from here....

Yesterday Scott and I took Sam to his first day of school, alternative school that is. We sat through the meeting, listened to the rules, signed that we had a copy of the rules, asked questions and left Sam.

A super sad statistic from the Director of that program? They will have 160 kids through their school this year and FOUR will have a mom and dad. Not married mom and dad even, just an involved in their life mom and dad....the other 156? Well, I have no idea but can guess a lot of scenarios and not many of them ideal.

As we left our intake there were two more boys waiting to get in....the boys were talking to one another as we walked out the door and one of them approached the truck his "mother"(cause I have no idea who she really was) and was telling her about the dress code. Students have to wear Khaki pants and a collared shirt, a belt and all shirts tucked. As I opened my door beside the driver/mom/person her reply was, "I don't got no *darn(I substituted) money to be buying dress pants and church shirts!!"


Scott and I sat down in our van and looked over at the truck....this truck pictured above....well, minus the boat and beach...a 2011 Chevy Avalanche. That truck cost as much as every single vehicle Scott and I own...all put together! It says so here!

I smiled to myself, I imagine, the way it looks from here, that mom person could afford a small investment in her child's clothes. The would be a far cry from his saggy jeans, t-shirt and sock cap, but they would be a HUGE step toward respect. It was obvious, the way it looked from my seat, that he had not learned that respect at home.

I find it terribly frustrating that people CHOOSE things and those things are not eternal. Don't get me wrong...a truck does not make you a poor individual! But the attitude that is so prevalent with selfish individuals, the I shouldn't have to pay for that because I don't want to? I just don't get it! I know it all has to do with responsibility....but how can an adult behave as though they have no responsibilities? Hum...I think this is a question that bounces from state to state and border to border...we have a serious problem in our country today with ownership and responsibility.

I do not preach that from a soapbox. I have that problem with some of my children. Last night Sam spent hours raging over this exact point. Name calling, bad words, wall banging (of which he kicked the outlet in his room blowing the entire breaker for that wall and MY whole room...it is not flipping back on and will have to wait on Scott to return home and fix.). Sam's beef? That I was holding events from 5 years ago against him. He was really angry that I did not trust him. Hum. I quickly explained that his consequences today were due to his behavior TODAY. I asked if he came to sit by me when I asked...no. Did he follow me when I asked...no. Did he go to his room when I asked...no. Did he stay in his room as I asked...no. His reply? He was mad! To which I explained that it was very obvious I could not trust him to make good choices when he was mad. He made threats to which I replied (with Scott's advice through the cell phone at my ear)I would call the police if he did that. I would have to. He did threathen to call the police on me. Why? Because I was in his room. The way it looks from here it's going to be a LONG road! He eventually settled down and did stay in his room.

I talk about ownership and responsibility because it is FUNDAMENTAL that our children and adults understand that these two words are truly LIFE SKILLS!

EU Pictures by Denise:)

My dear friend Denise is, in my mind, THE picture Guru! She takes so many picture and does an incredible job!! Last night she sent me her pictures from Friday and Saturday of kids, and adults at EU. I looked through quickly, finding these of my crew:) Above is the Savannah Youth Group (of likely the kids they could find at the time). Below are my loved ones and one of their friends!

Our new GOAL!

Caleb sent the kids a new basketball goal for Christmas. Our old goal, purchased by Doug, was run over by the mailman and the base broken (although my kids were still using it). The new goal is wonderful (and stands up without 16 concrete blocks!).

Sarah put it together Thursday after work...she worked from 3:40 until 11pm! Jacob helped some, Scott helped big time when he got home from work and a few of the kids were here and there helping. A HUGE job!

I laughed as I read this post from Sarah to Caleb:

Dear Caleb,
The kids are very thankful and super excited about the basketball goal. However, please never send anything that you can't be here to help put together. I have been outside since 3:40 and its very cold and I'm not as strong as you think. Thankfully dad was able to help when he got home. I love you lots. See you soon. And I'...m sure I will be thankful when I get beat Paden at a game of horse, because I always win. I think it just runs in the family.
Love, Sarah

Followed by Scott's addition:

Basketball goal is great!! Great gift to kids that will enjoy alot and I will practice so can beat you in a game of horse or maybe a game of supercalifrigiliousiscpalidosious - now how you say that in German :) :)

And Caleb's reply:

in german it is "mydadzanotgunawinnomatterhowlongthewordis"

I love it! I love computers, I love that Caleb is on the other side of the world and we can have conversations through email, the phone, and even facebook. I love that humor can be part of those conversations.

As Sarah was putting the goal together I told her that I was sure Caleb would LOVE to be here helping put in together. I did laugh and say, "If he didn't get mad at it and leave". Sarah quickly pointed out the obvious to us, "The old Caleb would have, the Caleb since he went into the Army would help me until we got it done!" The old Caleb would not have spent that much money on this brothers and sisters either.....from every encounter in life we can find good and I am ever grateful that Caleb's faith and love for God has strengthened in his time away and that he has a giving spirit. Not because of the "stuff" (lol..the kids might argue with that) but because of the example!! I love good examples!!

The goal was played on ALL weekend. I went to bed each night with people outside playing it and I woke up to people playing. It was loved and enjoyed by my family and all our friends. THANK YOU CALEB!!

PS. When I get my camera lens in I will take lots of pictures:) On a funny note....the Milan Youth Minister came in and said that Seth beat him playing ball. I laughed and said really? He replied "twice". He then said, "I couldn't guard him". I smiled and assured him he could. He said, "I thought if he could make it from where he was shooting he deserved to win...and he did" LOL:) That happens when you have 12 big brothers and a new goal and a HUGE love for ball!!

Poor attitudes

This morning I woke up (late, thank you Scott for letting me sleep in!) and when I was checking email and such I saw a reply to my facebook status (well, the one on Saturday. My status said:

I have spent the day fellowshipping with some of the most incredible people!! The most wonderful part was working side by side today with Chelsea and Sarah;). I wish everyday was a today!!!

The comment that surprised me(truly did)?

sounds like smothering in a bunch of people with over-inflated opinions of themselves

At first I really thought this man must have not understood the status, so I went back and read it. Then I deleted his comment and deleted him as a friend. Simple. I learned a very long time ago that if people do not understand why I do what I do? I really can't explain it to them. When adults say things like that? THEY have things going on that I cannot change.

I am thankful that with GOD all things ARE possible. This man is "supposed to be" a Christian. I would imagine his beef is more with my church family and beliefs. I find that a terrible shame. I TRULY do not bad-mouth people of Christian faith. I am happy when they are about God's work...I am pleased to see ANYONE doing something good!

Sunday morning I worshipped with 1800 people, the majority of them teenagers..... I cant think of a better antidote for a bad attitude than that! It's a shame that guy with the bad attitude wasn't there!

Getting ready for XI CHI

Tomorrow XI CHI DELTA officers will be here for their officers retreat. I remember my conversation with Doug a month ago when he asked if they could be here following EU. At the time I truthfully had to reply, "If you were Chelsea I would say yes, but she would help big time and have all the work done for XI CHI" He asked about the work that would be needed. And then clarifying said, "So you mean I would have to take all the sheets off the beds, wash them, dry them, AND put them back on the beds? Hum, I'll just tell everyone to bring sleeping bags!" lol:) Instead he talked sweet Allison (Bo's cousin and XI CHI officer) into helping him. Bless her heart, she is wonderful!

After working TONS they are sitting here:


Well, actually sitting here enjoying a movie:)

EU arrives....and leaves...

This weekend the long awaited and long planned Evangelism University arrived and has now, for 2011, departed. For our family it brings Chelsea and Bo home (along with about 7 of their youth group kids). It also brought the Milan Church of Christ youth group and a couple of extra fun friends. I love this time of visiting, of fellowship. I love having my children all home. I love working in the kitchen with Chelsea and Sarah...what joy!! I cannot express my appreciation to God for the gift of these two girls. What incredible examples for my little girls, for all who know them. I am always always blessed to have them close and be able to bask in the fun:) On Saturday I cooked for the evening meal, feeding my crew (plus a few extras), the Milan group, the Peachtree group and the Madison group...about 90 wonderful souls entered our home and visited with us. I LOVE IT!


Along with my Chelsea came my Bo (I can call him mine as he married Chelsea and her family). He is an incredible big brother!! I took these of Mercedez and Carlton with Bo:




These are of the Peachtree City kiddos and one with some of my kiddos too.



I have neglected my blogging as Caleb reminded me today. My camera is broken (well, the lens) and I am terrible about liking picture stories! But, I broke out my phone to take some pictures to share with KK. He laughed today on the phone and shared that he never ever thought he would be addicted to reading my blog. In his defense, he is far from home and I suppose very very bored!