Love from Afghanistan

Caleb knows his momma loves pictures (well, second to my people). This morning he sent me this picture of his face, which I miss very much! He also sent me me 5 songs clips:) PFC Smotherman and PFC Moody...what a funny pair. I love that they did an intro before the songs. If I could figure out how to get them here I would...but my technology is limited. I will have to find help. A shame my computer guru Caleb is far far away!!

Merry Christmas Caleb!!

Me and my Tori:)

Tori and I both sporting our new haircuts. Picture taken by Seth, who proclaimed it a perfect shot. lol:)

I had two sweet friends, Andrea and Leigh Ann, who gave me cut and color for the entire year of 2009!! HUGE BIG DEAL!! I enjoyed my last cut and color today:) Thank you for helping me be a brunette:) Love you both!!!

Christmas will come a day early at the Smotherman house. In the morning we will wake and have our family tome together. After lunch we have Sam's intensive yada yada yada guy coming for yet another visit. After that we hope to pack up the trailer and be ready to head out early Christmas morning. Visions of family all in my head....I am so ready for Christmas:)

Today I have talked to my two sons whom I will not see the Christmas. I talked this morning for 34 minutes to Caleb. I try to be very positive for Caleb, but frankly, being away from home at Christmas, being in Afghanistan is just yucky. No nice way to say it. I miss Caleb. We all miss Caleb. We have 3 months (almost to the day) until he his on his way back to Germany and then...BIG leave home. So, suffice to say, part of my Christmas will be arriving late:)

I also talked to Zack. I cried. I can change nothing. I love the guy. He loves Scott and I. Wish wishing really worked. Wish I could wish away the troubles of this life. Sadly, it just doesn't work that way. Life can be so hard and while we treasure family so much at this time of the year? Family is equally loved, cherished and enjoyed on EVERY day of the year. I will always love Zack even though he is not here.

Merry Christmas to all:) Hope you and yours enjoy the blessing God has given you!!!

Fishing with Ms Gail

Today Ms Gail came and picked up some on my guys to go fishing. Fish were biting and the water was calling:) Ryan, Seth and Michael all went and had an great time!!! Seth caught 3, Ryan and Michael each 6 and Ms Gail a bunch too. I am so thankful for good friends, Gail is among those good friends:)

Joseph's DAY:)

It finally came, it finally arrived....Joseph's DAY! It was no surprise to anyone what the "cup" was:)

While I'm venting....

:)

While I'm venting, since my children do indeed read my blog, I need to go ahead and clarify a few things. I have always been clear, in my mind. I have always been open to discussion, again in my mind. But, after a conversation with a hot (and I do not mean good looking) child last night, I feel I need to put this in writing....

In life there are rules...things we MUST follow. Sometimes they may seem...lol...sometimes the ARE orders. Such as:

•DO NOT ENTER
•DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS
•DO NOT OPEN
•DO NOT CALL
•DO NOT REMOVE
•DO NOT ENTER
•DO NOT TURN
•DO NOT PASS
•DON'T DRINK WATER
•DO NOT CROSS
•DO NOT RESUSCITATE

Those are not open for your consideration...You simply DO NOT!

There are suggestions in this life:
•PLEASE DO NOT LITTER
•PLEASE DON'T SMOKE
•PLEASE WHISPER
•PLEASE DON'T PICK THE FLOWERS
•PLEASE TURN OFF CELL PHONES
•PLEASE DON'T TOUCH
•PLEASE DON'T FEED THE SQUIRRELS
•PLEASE NO EATING
•PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB
•PLEASE DO NOT WALK ON GRASS
•PLEASE DON'T HONK
•PLEASE DO NOT OPEN
•PLEASE DON'T COPY
•PLEASE DO NOT CALL
•PLEASE DO NOT CROSS LINE
•PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE
•PLEASE REMOVE SHOES

Those are nicely worded rules. Meaning you can break them but count on consequences. Copy from a book and fail a class due to plagiarism. Touch an alligator and perhaps loose your hand (or your wallet when you finish paying the fine). I think you should get these...nicely worded rules.

Then there are LIFE rules, the rules that make or break your existence. You can live peaceably in this world if you follow these rules. These rules apply to EVERYONE...no exceptions!


•PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL OF OTHERS BELIEFS
•PLEASE BE EDUCATED
•PLEASE BE HONEST
•PLEASE BE HELPFUL
•PLEASE BE SINCERE
•PLEASE BE COURTEOUS
•PLEASE BE GRATEFUL

I think our Lord even used these rules in his book...perhaps you remember?

You, me, everyone need to seriously come to grips with the fact that there are rules in this life. They will not be going anywhere and I imagine in your lifetime the "List" will only get longer, not shorter.

As a parent I can assure you I know more about safety than you do. I know more about what's serious than you do. When I say "Don't touch that outlet!" it's because I know that to avoid electrical shock you need to stay away from outlets. If I have a fire in the kitchen and tell you not to put water on it. I mean what I say and expect you to obey immediately. I do not have time to tell you that "Never put water on a cooking fire -- it could make the fire bigger." is a rule most adults know. I am likely to be looking for Jacob with his fire extinguishers (lol...memories Jake!) or I will be attempting to put it out and if that fails call 911...it is NOT the time to argue with me or fail to listen. I do not always have the time or even feel the need to explain the "why" to you. Although if you ask me respectfully at an appropriate time? Like after the fire is taken care of and out? I am happy to.

Rules parents have for their children almost always revolve around SAFETY. As you grow older I am not so concerned about electrical outlets or the same things I worried about when you were a young child. Today the things I worry about are just as "unknown" or "unthought of" to you as the outlet was to you when you were a toddler. I am not really willing to allow you to cause harm to yourself to figure it out on your own. This is why we have rules.

The failure to follow those rules? Well, they will be hard, tough, yucky and not at all pleasant....why? So the next time you THINK about respecting the rules of your parents.

Any rules you truly do not understand? I am more than willing to talk about...but you need to understand that in the end? MY rules are the rules that you will follow. When you are an adult? Then you are happy to do as you please.

How far back is ....

I wonder exactly how far back something has to have occurred to actually be considered "in the past"?

Yesterday we sat (Scott and Sam and I) with the Intensive yada yada yada therapist and as an example to independent behavior I talked about a situation that happened about 15 minutes before the therapist arrived. I asked if I should have intervened (I was 4 feet away and watching as I wrapped gifts)? I did not intervene and instead ending up watching Sam make several mistakes, disrespecting anothers personal space....which really "looked" like him hitting the couch with a paint stick above her head....her asking him to stop....him not stopping....her asking again...him walking around to stand over her (bullying big time!)....then he dropped/threw/ tossed the stick or in his words "let it slip" from his hand to the couch (right beside sister!)....at the "slipping" point I intervened.

I truly believe children have to be given opportunity to succeed independently in to be and understand what success is....but with Sam, the urge to just take the paint stick away and give him a consequence for picking it up(which is not allowed either) is awfully great. Every single conversation with Sam seems to begin and end with "why can't you trust me?? ...why can't you give me another chance??" When I am a few feet away and I do not see imminent danger I am willing to see how he does. I am usually disappointed. Sam is falling apart pretty quickly. Scott and I talked about it last night. He refuses to be respectful in church because "I forgot all that stuff" ....meaning its okay to write on yourself, giggle, talk out loud, be disruptive to others worship, not listen to mom and dad and plain old be disrespectful to God...not to mention Scott spoke last night and he could have perhaps just listened to Dad's five minute talk (except he "don't remember that stuff"). He is oppositional (no surprise) and he is loosing his ability to Honeymoon. Again, no surprise just sad and bad.

But, I lost my way, the question was how far back is the past? As we sat talking Sam(refusing to make eye contact and mumbling) did not want to talk about the paint stick incident...why? "That was in the past and I don't want to talk about things in the past!" I seem to think of the past AFTER the situation is defused and we have time to talk about it. The past comes AFTER the dealing with.

Needless to say, the day to day is plain old hard for everyone (but especially Sam).