Noodle Brains....

This afternoon Sarah and I were in the kitchen talking. Sarah always comes home from school with funny 2 year old stories. As we talked Lita walked through the kitchen.

Lita: "Mom what's for dinner?"

mom: "hamburgers or chili"

15 seconds later, Tasha: "Mom, what's for dinner?"

I looked up from the stove and smiled, "beep...that's response number one."

Sarah in a monotoned voice " beep... that would be hamburgers or chili"

Tasha (what a smart cookie) without missing a beat replied, "yada yada yada yada...all I heard was ramen noodles:)"

We all laughed, except Tasha who was serious...haha. Ramen noodles are not on the menu tonight:) But not for the lack of trying on Tasha part.

Ramen noodles do seem to be on all my kids brains. We all laughed as Rosie got into the van yesterday and announced, "We studied Ramen Numerals today!" Even Rosie laughed when she realized her blunder:)

Keeping the memories ...

Keeping the memory alive.

Those are such powerful words. I saw them as I was reading this morning about Dan Jansen. Dan has a foundation for leukemia, The Dan Jansen Foundation, created to keep the memory of his sister Jane alive.

Even though we don't all begin foundations, or head research and development, we all in our own way keep memories alive. I think over the last few weeks, for me, the toughest part of our joy was not having my sister, mother or grandmother with us. I know there are so many who have gone on, yet those three would have LOVED to share the day. Chelsea and Bo's cards from the wedding said just that, "Thank you for sharing the day with us!". Profound words. Big words.

In this life, whether it be long or short, sharing the days with those we love, remembering them and the love they have for us (and vice versa) is one way of sharing the day! In the movie Stepmom with Susan Sarandon (I always blubber through) the ending always makes me cry, as Susan Sarandon (who is dying) tells her daughter "take me with you, you can. When you are in trouble, have me there. When you are happy, have me there. That's how people go on forever because someone takes them along. When you have your wedding, when you have your babies, have me there." I always think of those words. I think about taking that love, the love of those I miss so much, and I take them with me!

The Olympics have brought on this blog, the beautiful skater from Canada who lost her mother during the Olympics. Which made me this of Dan Jansen, I can so remember the time of his loss and the time of his victory. Those we love impact us forever. And that kind of love, just as surely as the powerful love of Jesus, impacts our every single day. I think love is something we should always take with us:)

Talking down from the ledge...

Last night as we were finishing dinner I received a call from Sam's counselor. Sam, heard in the background, was in a major tizzy. House parents had called in re-enforcements three times over the afternoon. Why? What could possibly provoke him to such destruction and outrage?

To give a bit of background, Sam in on a level system. But, Sam's level system is determined by his behavior the previous day. Immediate, as immediate as they can get it. Level 2 is not so bad. I thought about our meeting in Memphis yesterday with Zack`, Zack had been on Level one for nearly 18 months, we sat an praised his great accomplishment of gaining Level 2 and maintaining it. Now hours later I am voice conferencing with a son who due to "only" being on Level 2 is in fits.

As the counselor recounted the events leading to my call I could hear Sam yelling "that's not true!" and other words, some we just don't need to repeat. I hate being 3 1/2 hours away and being called on to deal with a son who is at the edge, and certainly by phone. I felt like one of those suicide hot lines...every word you have to place perfectly because someones life depends on it! That said, I am his history, I am his understanding (even when it is skewed), I get Sam, I know.....and I am so very grateful that there are loving professional people to help him! So, if I am called on to do my part by phone? So be it.

I began, as I almost always do with Sam in a tizzy, "I was not there to know what happened, I am not going to talk about your behavior before I was called, we need to talk about you right now. Right now you are being disrespectful and you are not listening and you are not calm. How can we change that? We need a plan. Tell me what the steps are going to be...what are your coping skills........" For 20 minutes we talked, I could feel Sam step off that ledge, stand on the floor and then sit down and talk to me. We talked about consequences when he calmed down, talked about the Level for today, for living tomorrow so the next day was better and the next one even better. He agreed. He seemed better. His counselor thanked me, but I was so far away and it is really hard to know. So I prayed. I love this placement. I love that God is the center of each individuals lives who works with Sam. That makes such an impact on his life!

I may have to be called (literally) to do things that I am not "crazy about" but in truth, isn't that the life of a mother? I am just grateful I am here and can be called on!

Sonic smoothie!

Dieting...I think that is definitely a four letter word (minus the "ing").

In the midst of my "I sure would like to live a little longer" quest in life I have began to use that four letter word. I have been looking at "FAT FREE" and low cal things. One I found was the fat free strawberry smoothie at Sonic. It really is pretty good. I have found a "treat" in that silly smoothie. Well, perhaps I should say I did find a treat in it....until Paden (Sarah's health friendly and exercise guru of a boyfriend) investigated Sonic and found out how many CALORIES the good ole smoothie has. GOOD GRIEF comes to mind...SIX HUNDRED AND SEVENTY FIVE calories. Isn't that crazy?

I am not sure who to be mad at? The cow? The strawberries? The farmer? The truck driver? Sonic? The waitress? hummm...maybe Paden for bursting my excessively high calorie smoothie bubble? Or myself?

Nothing in life is free. My dad said that all my life. I tell my kids that pretty often. It's true. And now that truth has even invaded smoothies...no such thing at fat free...maybe fatless....but still a lot more something that isn't Free at all. I even paid for the freeness!!

So I am back to counting calories...if it doesn't state the calorie content? That does not mean it's free:) It means beware...run...at very least power walk away. lol:)

PS...just for the fun...look(the point being TRY to look) at this nutritional chart for Sonic. If you are young enough to actually be able to read it ....well, you can likely eat anything you wish. If your eyes cannot read it? Run, jog....lol..you got it:)

Little Q's too:)

In life I find myself, with age, slowing down to linger over the little things. Above is a memo Tori placed on the china cabinet in the kitchen. With it the declaration, "I am putting the prayer list here so everyone can see it."

Everyday there are little Q's right along with the big ones. Sweet little moments I sure hope I don't miss!! The list has been there since Sunday, crooked and torn, but the words easy to read (if you can read phonically). This is such a BIG example of what I want my children to understand, I want them to know that this life is bigger than them, bigger than they can handle....BUT with God, with prayer, they can handle anything!! One note at a time:)

visual Q's and music notes...

Caleb sent me a message along with a fun picture of one of his battle buddies as a child. The note asked (and I will quote),"....find a picture of me that looks like this one because i know there is one sitting around the house somewhere. Once you have found it, take a picture of it with your amazing camera and send it to me ..." SO as I looked through a bunch of pictures I found myself crying. Memories. They don't bother me, but like the words with a song, the faces with my memories makes me cry. Not really because it makes me sad, just the thought of how quickly this life is passing. So many of the pictures that touch me involve those whom I loved dearly that are no longer here.

I suppose so much of life SHOULD touch us this way. It should make my desire to live my life just exactly as God intends, not missing any moment, not losing sight of the goal. The goal is heaven and I sure intend to take those I love with me! But, more than that I have to live with the desire to take everyone with me: neighbor, friend, acquaintance, all...I know the Bible says I should love my neighbor as myself...meaning I should desperately desire that EVERY single person I meet is in heaven just as surely as I have that desire for my soul!

I think God gives us tender hearts so when we see these Q's, these reminders, it's a picture of what I live for.... these are a few:) I found these looking for Caleb's baseball pictures.....





And I suppose, in looking at these, it's the very thought that this sweet little guy is no longer little, no longer small. He is a soldier, in a land far away, fighting for the freedom of this country, the freedom for me to live my life for Christ. THAT can make a mother cry!! Not in sadness, but with great pride and love, knowing that my little boy is all grown up and a living example of faith.

How?? and Why??

Today I stood in the kitchen with Scott talking about our kids. In a world of issues, and we do have lots, our kids are (as a whole) confident in their own skin. I laughed with Scott as we thought of "why?" scenarios...Maybe because there are so many they have to fight to be individuals? Maybe because we do not place importance on stuff, which I think sometimes can create in a child self-consciousness at not having stuff. Maybe because we do not join into the whole "going to friends houses and socialization every single weekend". We are not anti-people but we don't feel like you have to have a friend to go visit every weekend to be happy in life. We don't allow our children cell phones(unless you have a job and are paying for it...also you must still earn it!). We don't allow computer emails or face book until they are in their teenage years (13 or up) and then again...only when earned. Why? How did it happen? There are lots of things we do that are very very intentional. We parent with the intent that our children earn their way in life, that they show others respect, that they take personal ownership....but you have to know not everyone does (haha...isn't that life?).

So what makes the difference? I know Chelsea and Sarah were always stand on their own people. They like things because they "liked them" not because everyone had one. If anything I think they searched out that individuality and I praised it. I do not wish my children to go off the deep end, but I want they to have confidence. I want them to feel they can climb any mountain....even alone if need be. I want that kids of character for them. Chelsea, Sarah, Stuart, Caleb, Joseph, John, Jacob...all unique. All grew up in our house and all were at peace with their lives, with their means. They worked for anything they "wanted", we just did not hand out freebies. They built confidence in who they were ...and what they could accomplish. I am of course speaking in generalizations....we have had tough things over the years. With the building of our children's character comes lots of head butting:)

I do know that communication is key. But a step further than communication is making a connection. When your words ring true. For as many years as I can remember I have talked about real-life events and equated it to good decision making for my children.

I may have some kids who are weak spirited and have low confidences, but when I do it seems our family pulls them in, chops their weakness up and spits out individualism.....our job as parents is the direct those individuals:) Some stronger, some weaker, some bigger than life, some slipping through life. But it has been our great blessing that all have emerged as healthy young adults (so far so good...).

I would be remiss to leave out prayer. At the same time, it would be remiss to say that prayer only makes a difference. God intends we use ALL our resources as we raise our children, that we take each circumstance and twist it to His glory. Isn't that what God does?

How and Why's we are not sure, but we are ever so grateful for this house full of hard-headed individuals:)