My guys.

Today Scott and I both are going on visits. Doing that together is a rare thing. Time constraints usually have us doing them individually, taking turns when we can. But today we have a meeting with Carlton and his team. It is about the whole "I don't feel comfortable at home" issue. The social worker seemed to think it might have to do with Carlton not getting to hunt when he comes home. If that is the case, I guess he will just keep on being "uncomfortable". We will see. Scott and I both have not addressed some issues with Carlton (frankly because there seemed to be no need) but today we will. He needs a tad bit of reality(perhaps a truck load, but we shall stick to a tad bit). We meet with him this afternoon.

Before meeting with Carlton we will meet with Zack. Zack had his first weekend visit with his step down placement. He (hopefully) will be going to a level 3 group home. We have a family session to talk about the visit and transitioning.

It is a constant effort to keep these guys on track. Scott and I are both so very grateful for the programs they are in and the skill/knowledge/dedication of the staff. Not at all what we had thought parenting would entail, yet keeping the boys interest and well-being in the center, this is exactly what they need!

I am thankful for my biggies who are stepping up this afternoon to help. John is my most incredible bus diver:) Of all my kids, no one has ever really liked picking up little people, but John is my go to, he is awesome:) Sarah will be home to run the fort, keep people in line, do homework, dinner and keeper of the schedule (we have lots going on at home this week). I am truly blessed with my older children:)


Changing the subject completely I have to add this funny. This morning I was walking to my bedroom and the hall bathroom door was standing open. I have to say this...most all of my children have gotten to the age of "privacy"....they close the bathroom doors and dress in their rooms, no more running naked toddlers at my house. But I laughed and laughed this morning as I watched Seth (who had obviously just finished using the toilet) wipe the seat, flush and THEN lift the toilet seat. He walked out smiling at me. I think, somewhere, he has the process confused?! lol:) But, the seat was up and the he did wipe...haha. I had to make a mental note to address that later (at a non-embarrassing moment for Seth).

Sickies..

The weather keeps flip flopping and my allergy kiddos are struggling. I made John and appointment for tomorrow, Tori was home today, Ryan has been on meds for a week (with no fever) and I have a sinus infection. Just yuck. I took this picture this morning of Ryan after he was dressed and ready to go to school. I feel just like that! Well, as with most things, life moves forward regardless of the yuckies.

Today Lita is trying out for softball today. Tasha and Bella are trying out for cheerleader. Tomorrow Mercedez and Tasha are trying out for Softball too. Spring is in the air. Now if the weather will just warm right up we will all being doing great!

This promises to be another long week, although a surprise one. Kids are getting braces the weekend of the 12th in Atlanta so I had to move Sam's home visit to this weekend, which means I will be headed to Kentucky Friday and then back again on Sunday. Also have three meetings tomorrow in Memphis. I am glad Scott will be with me for those! Scott has signed up boys for baseball and their tryouts are next weekend. Busy busy.....

Quickly the week is already "taken" and I am a little tired just thinking about it. It seems we are entering into the Spring ball season....now that part I love!

Trees and other green stuff...

My kids love raw veggies. It seems they call them all by their "right" name except broccoli that still goes lovingly as "trees". With our lunch today I did not cook a vegetable, instead we had two gallons of raw veggies. My kids kept eating and eating (they love them). Seth sat down across from me and beside Scott with the plate above, it was his second plate! I laughed as Scott reached over to pick up at "tree" and Seth gasped. Scott said, "Seth, you don't think you can let me have one little tree when you have a whole forest?". Seth laughed and let dad have one. Just one:)

Margin of Error

Have you ever wondered what the good parenting margin of error is? I have. Seriously, it sounds like a contradiction. How can a "good parent" make "errors"? :) What a thinking error all by itself. Yet it is truly one that people, Christians even, hold.

I make mistakes ALL THE TIME. Ask my kids. Kids are great at remembering those moments. I laugh every time I think about Caleb's talk to John before leaving for the Army. It went something like this...."Mom is always right. Give in, accept it. Even when she is wrong...she is still right!". lol:) I think perhaps the better point is even when she is wrong be respectful!

But, why do people believe parenting can't hold mistakes? Last night I was chatting with a friend about a subject we neither one are terribly supportive of, yet she is at the bottom of the barrel and looking at it. I made the comment that at very least she would have tried, she would have been open to change and willing to try new things. Her reply "And that is important?" To me....YES! I never want to be in a corner and be told that due to my close-mindedness I had passed over good opportunities. In parenting we have to realize that we WILL make mistakes and when we do be willing to change.

I sat with a lady not to long ago who asked me about consequences I used. I spouted off a few and she asked about the effectiveness and how long I had been using one? I talked about the good results and I smiled as I told her I had not been using it long. Some rules in our house are hard limits, always the same response will come from me. But the consequence? It changes. I feel it has to. Age, maturity, adaptability to circumstances, and plain old appropriateness has to be a factor every time. Change is good. In consequences, change is almost always there, because I am a "try to be a natural consequence whenever possible" kind of mom. So if you throw food, you clean it up (you do not go to your room! Then who is left to clean?? NOT me!); if you knock over the trashcan,you pick it and the contents up; it you didn't sweep the kitchen when I asked, you will likely sweep the kitchen AND the living room. I like naturalish consequences, but my children are not cookie cutter kids and they do not do the same things...so there is always change.

I really believe the margin for error is large in parenting, but I really believe equally that there is no margin of grace it simply IS! It is a constant, it is there with me and my children. That grace allows me to say when I have overstepped, over spoken and it allows me to extend that same grace to my children. Just the other day I was passing out ice cream money to my kiddos as they got out at the elementary school, the last one out (the one who did not deserve it) stopped as I had my hand out with 50 cents. He looked up and said, "I didn't do my chore", I smiled and said, "I know, it's the grace of mom." He smiled. Change. We have to be willing to change. Not so much compromise on our hard limits, but show grace on the soft ones when we can.

I am always reminded of a quote I read as a young mother, "Say yes as often as you can!". Parenting is tough, the margin for error (lol...definite), but the grace, the "yeses" we can show to our children are likely one of the greatest ways to share God with them:)

I love smarties.

I love smarties (and I am not referring to the candy) ....just my son John:) He created this graph (that is about as technical as I get). I smiled as he lovingly and with a tad bit of long-suffering, tempered with futility, explained to me what it was. The futility being I cannot remember....but I do have a picture of it:)

John is a good guy and a great student. Love him!

That time again.....

This morning is sign-ups for baseball. Seth came down stairs in his baseball "underclothes" ready to get dressed for try-outs. Totally deflated to learn this is a paper only sign up and little boys are not even required to be there. I imagine he will have LOTS of time practice, baseball is almost here!

Connecting.

Jacob is a neat guy. I smiled this week as he related a story about his conversation with the ARMY recruiter. A month ago Jacob had an appointment with the recruiter. Jacob took off work and stayed at home working on the lawnmower while he waited for him. It was on one of our snow days, but not a "bad" snow day. Jacob was even ready early in case the recruiter came a little earlier due to weather. The recruiter didn't show, didn't call, until yesterday. He called yesterday to reschedule. Of all my guys, Jacob has the best work ethic (at his age certainly). Jacob is a hardworking, mean what you say person. If Jacob says he will be there, he is. His word mean a lot. I smiled, thinking that recruiter, sadly, probably didn't meet many guys like Jake and now? He will not be meeting Jake at all. Jacob told him, " I'm not interested in talking to you. If I decided to go into the Army I will talk to someone(meaning not this guy)." The recruiter not getting it explained that Jacob could call him anytime or text. He said he would always answer. Jacob told me, "Well, he could have texted or called me the day he didn't show up but he didn't". It's awfully hard to not respect Jacob's attitude. Jacob simply expects others to treat him as he treats them, sadly for this world, most people aren't like Jacob!

While I am yapping about Jacob I can't overlook the story Chelsea told me today. I had not heard it. Chelsea said she and Bo were talking this week and both realized that Jacob had sent them both messaged at 12:02AM the morning of their wedding. He told them he was happy for them and that he hope the day was great and that he loved them. Chelsea said she didn't remember talking to Jacob at the wedding (or much to any of her siblings for that matter). But it had really stuck with her that he cared enough to tell her. He knew the day would be crazy, but he wanted them to know he cared. I love that story:)

Caring and compassion, I sure do love seeing it coupled respect and love in my kids!