A letter about Sam....

I'm not sure how to even begin to talk about the mess with Sam...but after writing to Caleb this morning I decided to just copy that letter here. For my friends who read? I ask that you sincerely add Sam to your prayer lists...and Scott and I as we seriously struggle to find appropriate group home for him. Also pray that if all else fails and he comes home....that we are able to maintain the level of care needed.

Dear Caleb,

I am not sure I can even type all the junk going on with Sam...here's the highlights...

The Village (Sam's current Residential Treatment Center RTC) is releasing him this week....actually tomorrow because TN Care is not going to pay the placement anymore. That placement is about $500 a day. Now, Sam has improved. He is doing better, somewhat. But the Dr sat with me last week while I was there and described that Sam's baseline (average...best average) is where he is now....and that is not good enough to live in society. That stinks cause it's not going to get better. No real surprise, but still disappointing. So the RTC called the DCS (Department of Children's Services) hot line to tell them that Sam was coming home and they did not feel it was safe. It is not concerns of neglect or abuse, but based on thier thoughts that the other children in our home are not safe. They feel he needs to be in a group home setting. We do too...but we are struggling to find one. So I have talked to DCS, asking for any advice (a very nice way of asking for help)....none there as of yet.

Why do they feel he can't come home?

1)Just last month they were at the point of discharging Sam because they felt they could not insure his safety or the safety of others. They currently have one teacher to four students, two staff to nine boys, 24/7 nursing care and a daytime therapist and they could not keep Sam from inciting others (causing them to desire to do him harm) or keep Sam from causing others harm. I imagine if they feel they cannot manage with him at the level of care they have, they do not believe he can be cared for in a home.

2)Safety. We have 10 children younger and smaller than Sam. Same as above. They do not believe it is possible to keep Sam in a line of sight care within a family situation.

3) We do feel that this could also be a safeguard for their own liability.

4) Sam has a history of desiring that some of his siblings die. He has even stated he would like to kill them. Daniel, his younger birth brother in particular, who is 11 years old. Samuel has issues, serious issues with at least one person all the times.....a person he chooses to dislike intensely. It is safe to say Daniel will be that person should Sam come home and with their history it is not a safe environment for Daniel.

So Friday I sat and talked to the HCMS principal and he helped me map my "where to go's". Yesterday I had a meeting with the County Resource coordinator. We then scheduled a meeting with the Alternative School teacher, High School Resource teacher and High School Principal. Their thoughts? After reading over reports and letters? He can't come here. County Resource person reminded them that by law they had to provide an education to Sam. So it looks like (after much discussion) that Sam will enter into Alternative School and will work at his own pace in a highly structured environment with highly qualified teachers. I will take him to school at 8:30 and pick him up at 2:30 to insure he does not have time to socialize and make hate with those kids there. It is really ugly and such a terrible mess. I want to shout from the roof tops DON'T DO DRUGS nor DRINK ALCOHOL while pregnant....but I doubt those people care about the consequences of their actions. They will either be dead, in jail or not raising their children anyway. Someone else will live with the consequences of their actions. That sure stinks.

I felt guilty even having to ask them to help with Sam. Although, in our defense we have spent YEARS keeping him out of school in Hardin County.

While I was messaging you on face book this morning a Christian Home in Arkansas called to ask questions about my application. We have 3 places we are hopeful will take Sam. You might add that to your prayer list. I know God knows about it but I also know prayer matters greatly...so add him to yours please.

Makes me miss my GOOD GUYS so much more....like YOU!!! I love you so much. I am so very proud of you and I am so very thankful to know that I can raise honorable successful kids.......and apparently unruly ones too...

Love you much,
mom:)