Correction

This morning I listened to Ryan ask Isabella to come and throw away her left over bagel. Bella and Mercedez were in the living room basking in front of the fireplace. From my spot by the sink I heard Mercedez, none too nicely, yell "Bella already put her food away, that is NOT hers!". I raised my eyes, have you ever heard people speak with great conviction about things they know nothing about? I am all about cohesion and teamwork and getting along and support, yet I am very much NOT in favor of speaking when you know not what you say. When you are misinformed, when you did not see nor truly understand, but are moved to speak based on the word of someone else.

Mercedez walked through the kitchen, where Ryan was still eating and I was still standing, on her way to get her book bag. Behind her? Behind her was Bella who stopped at the table and picked up the bagel pieces to carry to the trash. "Is that your bagel??" I asked. Bella replied, "Yes." (She does it with eye-rolling and frustration seeping from her voice). Now, as a mom I took immediate notice. I let her go on her merry way, as she went and settled back in front of the fireplace.

All my kiddos were lined up to go to school, except the now returned Mercedez and Bella who should be sweating by now (still sitting on the hearth). I stopped and told Mercedez:

I am not "getting on to you" but I am lovingly telling you this so you do not make the same mistake in the future. It is perfectly fine to take up for someone, but not if you are misinformed. Bella waited until you went to your room to pick up the bagel on the table, the bagel that she said was hers. Bella allowed you to yell a lie. She allowed you to take up for her and I KNOW you were misinformed. But, if you did not see it? Especially if you are sitting beside her and she can answer....Let her talk for herself. You have to be very careful of the things you say. You have to be very careful of the person who said it. You have to guard that you are not pulled into a lie.

All my children listened, all understood. In my youth as a parent I never corrected "publicly". I felt tender esteems needed protection. Today? Today if it is a "public" issue, one that you have preformed in front of all? Then it is generally (there are exceptions) dealt with publicly(well in this case in front of nine siblings). This is in my opinion a life skill.

You (everyone) must not share information you do not KNOW is true. It happens all the time. It's called "lies and gossip". And it does not change if you are "gullible or believing"....it is still lies and gossip.... only then...you are truly responsible because you did not stop to check.

Over the weekend I was talking with my big girls. I am pretty sure that one of the leading causes/contributors to those who leave the church is indeed lies and gossip.

With that thought in mind...I stopped and had the conversation with Mercedez, sitting beside Isabella (and all my kids listening). We cannot allow lies and gossip into our homes. Well, if will likely make it's way there, but it better never go uncorrected!! We have to guard ourselves and we sure better be teaching those same safeguards to our children!