you you you you

The life of a mom is rarely about self. The "o" between the m's is surely for the "ohhhhh" as in oh yeah I get it now! Not about me. If it were about "Me" then it would have an "e" or an "I" included. Parenting DOES include me and I, but in a position of service. I spend an incredible amount of time listening to my children. I spend an incredible amount of time caring for my children. I spend an incredible amount of time giving to my children. It isn't about me, and you know I'm okay with that. It was a serious choice I made, the whole mom thing.

I have a wonderful husband who does spend most of his life caring for his family (just like all the "incredible amount" sentences above). He gets the significance of family of children. I am ever grateful to have him as part of my life, sharing my life and listening to me fuss about parts of our life:)

I do know the day comes when children understand the investment a parent makes, although not usually until they themselves make it...sometimes we are so very blessed to have kids who get it before that time comes.

Understanding my investment of time doesn't make me feel better though when kids are disrespectful. I mean that in a selfish-no-regard-for-anyone-but-self-kind-of-way. That phase seems to be overly heavy during teen years. This morning I stood with a teenager who is not where they need to be and I used the words of one of my older (and incredibly wise) children told me not to long ago. I explained to the teen...

I am no longer going to talk to you about your behavior thinking about how you "can be"...I will only deal with how you are...and today you are not doing well.

I know how my children "can be" but that truly doesn't matter. What matters in this life is how you ARE! I have several kids who are not where I want them to be...no surprise, been dealing with that for years. But, the one thing that simply burns me up is when they loose "respect for others" in their selfish rampages. I do not expect to be thanked for what I do. I don't. But I do expect to be treated with respected.

Last night I asked a son a question on facebook....along with leaving a picture I knew he would like to have. He took the picture, made it his profile and never answered the question. Respect... It was lacking. To me it is such a small thing to expect to be treated with respect....and at the same time one of the most noticable flaws a person can have.

I have children who talk back, who refuse to apologize, who feel that they are just done so unfairly, I have some jealous children...jealous of each other and jealous of other people. That bothers to me no end. But, when one of the things I feel is MOST important, respect, is lacking it truly makes me sad. They're missing one of the key's to life.

I have children who I can honestly say NEVER disrespect me. I really do have them. I can ask anything and they do it. I can say the truth and they acknowledge it. I can talk tough things and they listen (without eye-rolling or talking back or stomping or anger). In my corner of the world, the corner where I do for all and have little done freely for me I find that kind of respect INCREDIBLE. I sadly, or rightly so, will over look a lot knowing that they have SO MUCH GOING FOR THEM!

I cannot manage to share the seriousness of the correlation between respect and life to my non-repecting children. I imagine they'll figure it out someday or they will simply be sad people. The choice will be theirs.

In our world that encourages self, I am ever so grateful for my selfless children.