Forward?

I seem to take three steps forward only to go two back on some days. Well, perhaps that isn't exactly correct, I take a lot of steps forward ...they just seem to be the steps of an ANT! I think of all the places I have gone, all the things I have done, and then, when put up beside all the places I need to go and all the things I have yet to do? I seemingly have not traveled very far!

Last week was certainly a traveling week. On Tuesday I was to Memphis and back, On Wednesday Scott, myself and Sam were to Kentucky and back, and on Thursday I was to Memphis and back again. A whole lot of moving....yet no cleaning, laundry, homework, cooking or just plain old life in all that travel. Actually all of those things happened too....just not perhaps as well as normal.

In a huge answer to prayer, Sam has been accepted to the home we looked at. Sam has so many issues. I KNOW they are in part not his fault. He had a birth mom who not only did physical damage to his brain, she also did psychological damage too. He struggles. It really does break our hearts. We know all of that but I have to say, even being able to understand Sam, even knowing his strengths and his weaknesses, even loving him so much....he cannot be at home. Sam has issues with a couple of our children that makes him a safety risk. Do I think Sam would follow through on his words? No. Yet in anger Sam has no self-control and I cannot allow others to be in harms way.

This week we sat with a group of people who understood. They "got it". They are willing to help. While Sam has difficulties with peers and the younger children in our home....he will be the youngest in the home. He will live with three older boys (17,17,16) and has a set of foster parents who have been minsters for many many years. The dad talked about letting Sam take bikes apart and helping him put them back together (Sam takes everything apart..lol)...and that Dad wanted to help him. We have prayed for help with Sam. Prayed for help FOR Sam...and God has answered our prayers. I am not surprised (I knew God could), I am just so very grateful, so thankful!!

Now we have some serious gathering of documents, ICPC, clothes list and other things that all have to happen in 7 days (and did I mention we have Thanksgiving this week??). The last week has been busy, but the next promises to be even more so. I will be taking Sam next week by myself, we had conflicting dates, but decided we needed to follow through on their time (which means we just have to make it happen.).


I find as I grow older in my parenting that lots of things are conflicting, lots of life is just that way. I think I have learned to compromise, to try to find the good in whatever situation I am in....and when push comes to shove? I just have to make it happen. This is life!