Jacob and Kade were here for a while early. Eating blue berry muffins and being funny (I love it when my big kids just hang out), before going to the river to tube.
I left home by lunch to take Carlton back to the ranch. We stopped on the way (in Memphis) and picked up Zack. Zack rode with us and visited with Carlton for almost 2 hours before we took Carlton back.
Earlier in the day as I stood in the kitchen with Jacob, Kade and Doug, we were all talking about the day and activities. Doug had no plans. I smiled and asked if he would like to ride to Memphis with me and spend the evening with Carlton and Zack? He immediately (without pause)said, "ahh! I would love to but I have so many plans that just can't change." He ended with a smile and I smiled back....no one wants to go with me on these trips. I can't blame them. I can't take little people with Zack along and frankly, a nine hours drive (7 actually on the road traveling to and from) is not fun for any side-kicks.
Carlton didn't like having Zack be part of our time. He really can't stand him. It's sad to me, as they are bio brothers. Zack? He really likes talking to Carlton (which might be why Carlton gets aggravated). Both boys are so very RAD, both so very selfish (neither cares about anything or anyone unless it impacts them). I told Scott last night that we were in line at Wal-Mart and Zack asked if he could have a coke. I said, yes. He got one and put it in the buggy. I asked Carlton(how was sulking thinking he would not get one) if he would like one? He got one and put it in the buggy. If any of my other kids had gotten a drink they would have asked if I wanted one too. Not these guys. One thank you was issued all day from Zack for his watch (and I did buy the guys clothes, food, gum and junk). It is usually the case that they are just upset they didn't get more.
We took Carlton back at 4pm. Zack and I at at Ryan's (where he really wanted to eat). We drove to Memphis and I took him back to the group home. The worker there hugged me telling me how much she thought of me. I've never met her before, I suppose that attitude was brought on from dealing with Zack everyday.
I was home around 9 pm. I sat down and checked email, played a game of cards with Scott and headed to bed. This was from my Sethie....sweetness...the kind that makes long days so very much worthwhile:)
I think it is very hard to understand the level of self-centeredness some of our RAD kids exhibit. My 17 yo daughter can make you think that she's trying to do something nice for you - that way you feel guilty questioning the fact that she baked you a pumpkin torte for your mothers day breakfast. She loves pumpkin, I cannot stand it - but it's all about what "she" wants to make me, not what I might enjoy. The way she does it, I cannot complain or I will seem ungrateful and hurt her feelings. I have been thinking for a long time that she is just not in tune with anyone else's likes and dislikes (and that still may be part of it), but it's more than that - she's always had a passive-aggressive streak and the older she gets, the more we are treated to her endless abilities to look like she's being helpful while she's basically ruining things. She cleans things with the wrong cleaning product and ruins the finish on cupboards, stoves, floors, etc. She accidentally throws a red shirt in with a white load of laundry, she forgets that she isn't allowed to turn the pool pump off and does because she's trying to help dad out by cleaning the pool (instead of staying inside and doing the chores that are expected of her). I'm really tired of all the game-playing.
ReplyDeleteYou're such a good mom. :)
ReplyDeletedo you know anything about a relation between RAD and sociopathy?
ReplyDeleteSome Robyn, I have not spent a lot of time investigating the relationship.
ReplyDelete