Talking to another mother, who has two grown and married children, we were discussing our prayers for our children and their spouses. I know most people pray for their children from the time they are young, praying for the person they will someday marry. I have. I certainly have a perfect "score" on that prayer life. Chelsea is married to a wonderful man, a Christian (and I do not use that word lightly!!).
Bo has parents who have embraced Chelsea, who love Chelsea. They call her their own and I love that!! Why? Because SHE IS!
My wise friend made the comment that in our prayer life we should pray for our children to marry individuals who come from families that blend. A funny saying to me, but I immediately understood.
The family my child marries into becomes MY family and vice versa. We SHARE our children and the lives they will lead. It is as God intended. No man is a mountain and families are not meant to be "ONLY US" kind of people, they are intended to be the hands of God. God is open and loving. God cares for our every need, He desires a close relationship with us....because He LOVES us. That is the family I am now praying for when I bring my children to God in prayer. When I pray for the spouses they will have, I will include the families too.
In the past I have not placed enough importance on those families. I hear people say, "You don't marry the family". Maybe that's true, but you sure have to live with them! Even if it's from afar.
I want my children to have the family, extended family, that I have had....peace, joy and love accompanying the "in-laws". I don't often call Scott's parents in-laws. Something about that just sounds wrong. They are Scott's parents who opened their home to me so very long ago. They are a blending family. They have added to their family time and time again and they are accepting and loving....it really is a God thing!
So, my prayer for my children? They find spouses who are Christians (in the truest sense) and that the families those individuals come from? That they are as God, open to blending their family. I know this is a BIG issue, but in truth I hope all my children understand....even now....that who they marry IS one of the most important decisions they will make in this lifetime. They need to not ever take it lightly and they always need to look at the WHOLE picture! I so greatly desire them to be nurtured by families that love them too:)
I think I can safely say that Scott and I have blended time and time again. My children are all capable to of it...but it is not an attribute all people have. I am so prayerful that our family continues to grow, living together and loving together.
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Your words are so true! I have always told my son how important it is whom he marries and how she treats her family, and how her family treats him.
ReplyDeleteMost parents spend many years helping their child see how important their academics are, and helping them choose which college to go to and even what to major in. But they don't guide their girls or their boys in choosing a mate. You may change your major, your job, even your career many times over your lifetime. But your marriage should be forever!