I sit through session after session with Sam. I have talk after talk with my children. I encourage and fight equally for what is right. In thier lives there IS a "right". A right path, a road to travel, a place to be, a specific destination. Even more important is my desire that they understand that the
path, road, place and destination begins with them. They have to love themselves....FIRST!! I am not talking about selfishness. I am not talking about self-centeredness. I'm talking about balance. In this world, the perfect counterweight to sin is love. Loving who I am, my children loving who they are? The first stone of the scale. I want my children to understand that perfection is not attainable and perfection is subject to many interpretations; perfect to me is not perfect to you. But, there is a right way! Good behavior? Following the rules? Obeying the law? All things we should always have in mind, always desire to achieve. We all need to desire the positive, the good in this life. We need to go beyond wishing and hoping and we need to all feed the dream! We need to feed it, bank on it, plan on it and KNOW that with our work we can achieve that dream. We need to encourage the strong, beautiful, healthy side of ourselves. The Native Americans have a story about two wolves...you can read here.... Those two sides, spirits, desires live in each of us. The side we feed is the side that will grow. If I love myself I will feed what is GOOD for me, GOOD for my future, GOOD for my family, GOOD for my world and especially for GOOD for my Lord, for my very soul.
It seems so very easy. It seems so very simple. But the dark side (and I am not quoting Star Wars ...although what a PERFECT example!) is always going to have its pull. We simply must hold true to those things we know are good, withstand the temptation and consider those moments a time of testing that brings us maturity.
It all begins with loving myself enough to care about my life, my future and my eternity!
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So true. So very true. But how do I teach this to my son who was the scapegoat and had the nickname with his family, "butt head". I will never forget the first time I met his bio mom after I got him at barely 5yo as my foster child, she said to me, "Oh, you have the bad one. Gooood luck." And she was dead serious. The first time he went into a rage with us his little sister told me that he was "always bad". He has such low self esteem it is so sad. His dark side will not allow him to feel good about himself. Breaks my heart.
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